My Election Hangover

Queen City Confidential by Anonymous

Today I officially ended my alcoholic bender commemorating Saskatchewan’s April 4th non-election. We’ve known since roughly forever what the results would be, so really, my drunken debauched rampage had less to do with the Saskatchewan Party’s inevitable return to power and more to do with obvious character flaws in yours truly.

Nevertheless, it’s up to us progressives to build a viable political alternative of Sanders-esque proportions (yes I know he’s losing too, shut up). I present the following options for your consideration.

  1. FIX THE NDP With campaign messaging like “We’re kinda like the Sask. Party only nicer,” it’s clear the brocialist party needs a makeover. The problem with this idea is it looks like a lot of work.
  2. JOIN THE GREEN PARTY They like the environment, plus they’re green! And only 60 points behind the ruling party.
  3. JOIN THE LIBERAL PARTY I hear they have delicious buffets at election launches.
  4. JOIN THE PC PARTY We’ll change the name to “Progressive Citizens”. I can think of at least three million reasons this idea might work.

Please get back to me with your preference at your earliest convenience. I’m only 48 hours of sleep and a bottle of Advil away from getting started on fixing this mess.


POLITICAL DESPAIR IS NO MATCH FOR MY ALCOHOLISM Queen City Confidential is an open forum for Prairie Dog readers to anonymously share their petty rants, workplace gripes, romantic woes and complaints about friends and family. You can say nice things too. E-mail your submission to confidential@prairiedogmag.com (type CONFIDENTIAL in the subject field). Change everyone’s names and identifying details. Submissions must be 100-200 words and it’s acceptable to write them in a drunken state.