newsquirks
© Myron Campbell
Scared Silly
Sadistic Swiss send in the clowns
by Roland Sweet
A British circus began offering free workshops aimed at overcoming people’s fear of clowns. A recent poll ranked coulrophobia as Britain’s third biggest phobia, behind spiders and needles. Paul Carpenter, who runs the sessions along with his fellow clown partner and the ringmaster at John Lawson’s Circus, explained that the therapy was aimed at adults, not children. “Many of them have a preconceived idea of clowns as knife-wielding psychos, and they’re petrified, very frightened,” Carpenter said, blaming the effect of clowns in horror movies. Participants are taken to see clown actors in ordinary clothes and observe them transforming into their characters, then are encouraged to dress up as clowns themselves. (News Core)
Meanwhile, an “evil clown service,” launched this spring in Lucerne, Switzerland lets parents hire a psychotic-looking mime to stalk their children at birthday parties. “The clown’s one and only aim is to smash a cake into the face of his victim, when they least expect it, during the course of seven days,” said actor Dominic Deville, who stars as the evil clown. He reported that kids “absolutely loved” his chilling antics. (Britain’s Metro)
SOME SKILLS JUST CAN’T BE TAUGHT
After police arrested Ronald White, 35, for shoplifting in Cinnaminson, New Jersey, they discovered he had outstanding warrants that required posting $400 bail. White paid cash. The next day, Detective Sgt. William K. Covert discovered that five of the $20 bills White used were counterfeit. “They’re pretty poor,” Covert said. “I didn’t have to touch them and I knew they were bad.” Before police could locate White, he showed up at the police station to complain that he had overpaid his bail and wanted his money back. Officers found two more bogus $20 bills on him. “One of my favorite sayings is, you can’t teach stupid,” Covert said, “because every day something else comes up, and you just shake your head.” (Philadelphia Inquirer)
SPUD POWER
Researchers developed a potato-powered battery they say produces electrical energy five to 50 times cheaper than conventional batteries. Haim Rabinowitch and Alex Golberg of Israel’s Hebrew University and Boris Rubinsky of the University of California at Berkeley reported in the Journal of Renewable and Sustainable Energy that they discovered how to construct an efficient battery using zinc and copper electrodes and a slice of potato. Further research found that boiling the potato increased electric power tenfold over a raw potato. (Reuters)
MYSTERIES OF THE CRIMINAL MIND
Police responding to a home-burglary call in Kennewick, Washington, found Nathan Watkins, 31, making a slow-speed getaway on a stolen riding mower in broad daylight, towing a trailer of other lawn-care equipment and a second riding mower. (Tacoma’s News Tribune)
PORCELAIN COMBAT
Police in New Port Richey, Florida, charged Angelic Innamorato, 28, with assault after they said she tried to hit her cousin with a ceramic toilet lid. (St. Petersburg Times)
THE PARASITE DOTH PROTEST TOO MUCH
Farmer David Jungerman, 72, posted a sign in a cornfield in Bates County, Missouri, accusing Democrats of being the “Party of Parasites” who “always have their hand out for whatever the government will give them” in social programs. When asked about farm subsidies he has received totaling $1,095,101 in the past 15 years, including $34,303 last year, Jungerman defended himself: “That’s just my money coming back to me. I pay a lot in taxes. I’m not a parasite.” (The Kansas City Star)
EMERGENCY DATING SERVICE
Authorities said Audrey Scott, 57, of Alliance, Ohio, called the 911 emergency line five times looking for a husband. “You need to get a husband?” the dispatcher asked. Scott replied, “Yes.” When told she could face arrest for misusing 911, Scott responded, “Let’s do it.” She was sentenced to three days in jail. (Alliance’s The Review)
Compiled from mainstream media sources by Roland Sweet