Collect Nine New Smoking Warnings

The U.S. FDA has released the new cigarette pack warnings due to hit shelves in September 2012, and they’re about what you’d expect. Just super gross stuff, and a bunch of images of children so you know you’re killing them too, et cetera.

Apparently, my suggestion of the words “IT’S GROOOOOOOOSS” bolded and in caps on the top half of the cigarette pack didn’t make the cut.

These warnings are supposed to stop people from smoking and even starting smoking and all that; what they really seem bound to do is replicate a scene from this episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. I tried finding a clip, but to no avail. The basics: while at a party, a kid finds a picture of Larry David’s disgusting teeth in his jacket pocket, and is traumatized. So maybe that’s the FDA’s strategy: traumatize the kids real early. ‘Cause all the people I know who smoke know it’s gross already, not least of which because I tell them so.

Author: James Brotheridge

Contributing Editor with Prairie Dog.

4 thoughts on “Collect Nine New Smoking Warnings”

  1. How I miss smoking. Before the ads got ginormous, my friend Charles printed stickers up to cover them up. I still have one that says “WARNING: Smoking May Make You Stay Up Late Listening To Jazz Records.” I had another friend who just loved the babies on the package, especially on Matinees. Matinee… Babies. What could possibly be wrong with those two things? Personally, I was always fond of a simple “Smoking is Glamorous” message. Going back to dying of boredom (and overeating) now…

  2. My grandma’s jam was just putting her new cigarettes in an old pack. She had a Players pack that had a tiny, tiny warning on it that she held onto for a good long while.

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