1 COULD SOMEONE PLEASE DRAG AWAY THESE WILD HORSES? They’re breaking things in northern Saskatchewan. They tried to eat a guy’s truck!
2 DENMARK PLOTS TO MURDER ANOTHER CUTE GIRAFFE How much giraffe blood will it take to slake the Danes’ evil thirst? When will the madness end?
3 THE HUMANE SOCIETY WANTS A NEW BUILDING We’re having a boom! Someone build ’em one!
4 A THING TO READ ABOUT THE FSIN ATTEMPT TO BUY TWO SASK CASINOS Here’s a column from Greg Fingas criticizes the Sask. Party.
5 “ENVIRONMENTAL GROUPS GET MONEY FROM TERRORISTS”: FLAHERTY One of the many reasons no one with any sense votes Conservative is the Harper government’s tendency to use the tools of governance to attack their opponents. Another political party has money? Kill the per-vote subsidy. Constantly getting in trouble for election violations? Re-write election laws. Environmental groups making some good points about the problems with pipelines? Surprise! They’re all getting audited. The justification? They’re taking money from terrorists. Sheesh.
6 SPEAKING OF THE CON’S ORWELLIAN FAIR ELECTIONS ACT Mulcair’s NDP, which has by far been the best party in the House Of Commons over the past few years, pushes back. By the way, The Globe and Mail actually has a subscriber-only article with the headline “Trudeau or Harper for best PM? Polls depend on how you ask”. Seriously, fuck the Globe. It’s for Bay Street, not regular people.
7 MARGARET WENTE SAYS PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN KILLED HIMSELF She seems to think addiction is a choice. No, it is not, which is why we have sympathy for the Rob Fords. You know what might be a choice? Writing like an asshole who’s oblivious to her own good luck and privilege. Once again, fuck The Globe and Mail. There’s no excuse for them to ever publish garbage.
8 ACCESSIBLE HEALTH CARE IS POPULAR! WHO KNEW? More Americans sign up.
9 BAD WEATHER IN THE U.S.A. Storms! Snow! Eek!
10 TEEMU WAS HURT AT THE OLYMPICS! Nooooooooooooooo! Oh wait, it sounds like he’ll be okay. Thank goodness. Teemu is my favourite.
11 THURSDAY MORNING MEDAL COUNT 10 Medals, good for second place in the weighted medal rankings. Germany leads with six gold medals to our four, but #3 Norway has the most total medals with 13. We’re actually tied for fourth in the total medal count.
THIS VIDEO WINS THE INTERNET A sportscaster destroys homophobes and it’s fantastic.