2. SOME DUMB JERK SWIPED THE TRIKE OF GIRL WITH CEREBRAL PALSY Bike theft is a crime against civilization but this? Intolerable.
3. HERE COMES GONORRHEA! It wants to infect our precious Saskatchewan junk! Nooooo! Quick, everybody: to the condom cabinet!
4. FIRST NATIONS CHIEF’S’ SALARIES WILL SOON BE PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE Despite the fact that awful racists will use this information as a cudgel against First Nations governance… this is a good thing.
6. PILE UP THE BODIES Hey, we’ve got 100 more dead Palestinians. But it’s okay, Israel has a right to defend itself by bombing what is essentially a 360 square kilometre prison camp under it’s control.
7. CHINESE GOVERNMENT SPONSORS CYBER-ATTACK ON CANADA No big deal, it’s not likely they spy on us any more than the Americans.
8. ALBERTA’S LAST PREMIER HAS A NEW EXPENSE SCANDAL Huh. Wonder how long before Albertan’s turf the PC party.
9. THIRTY-FIVE PER CENT OF AMERICANS HAVE BEEN SENT TO COLLECTIONS When a third of your country has this much debt, you have a problem with the system, not with individual people. Dummies will of course disagree and talk about “personal responsibility” while ignoring the U.S.’ fundamentally inequitable economy.
10. SATANISTS FOR BIRTH CONTROL Last month, a terrible U.S. Supreme Court decision raised the religious freedoms of a corporations (?!?!) over the rights of female workers. The decision, involving a shitty company called Hobby Lobby, has been widely blasted. Not all is lost, however, thanks to an initiative by a truly ethical religious organization calling for religious exemptions to over-reaching legislation. I’m referring, of course, to the Satanists.
BATKID BEGINS The trailer for a touching-looking new doc is out.