Daily Aggregation: The Littlest Dark Knight

daily-aggregation-21. A CAMPAIGN TO SAVE PENSIONS We’re all aware that the pension plan for retired city workers is in trouble, right? And that this is a big deal? No? Well here, read this.

2. SOME DUMB JERK SWIPED THE TRIKE OF GIRL WITH CEREBRAL PALSY Bike theft is a crime against civilization but this? Intolerable.

3. HERE COMES GONORRHEA! It wants to infect our precious Saskatchewan junk! Nooooo! Quick, everybody: to the condom cabinet!

4. FIRST NATIONS CHIEF’S’ SALARIES WILL SOON BE PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE Despite the fact that awful racists will use this information as a cudgel against First Nations governance… this is a good thing.

5. SOME WAR ON CARS Dudes in a truck shot a cyclist in BC a couple of months ago, and here’s an update. How did I miss this one?

6. PILE UP THE BODIES Hey, we’ve got  100 more dead Palestinians. But it’s okay, Israel has a right to defend itself by bombing what is essentially a 360 square kilometre prison camp under it’s control.

7. CHINESE GOVERNMENT SPONSORS CYBER-ATTACK ON CANADA No big deal, it’s not likely they spy on us any more than the Americans.

8. ALBERTA’S LAST PREMIER HAS A NEW EXPENSE SCANDAL Huh. Wonder how long before Albertan’s turf the PC party.

9. THIRTY-FIVE  PER CENT OF AMERICANS HAVE BEEN SENT TO COLLECTIONS When a third of your country has this much debt, you have a problem with the system, not with individual people. Dummies will of course disagree and talk about “personal responsibility” while ignoring the U.S.’ fundamentally inequitable economy.

10. SATANISTS FOR BIRTH CONTROL Last month, a terrible U.S. Supreme Court decision raised the religious freedoms of a corporations (?!?!) over the rights of female workers. The decision, involving a shitty company called Hobby Lobby, has been widely blasted. Not all is lost, however, thanks to an initiative by a truly ethical religious organization calling for religious exemptions to over-reaching legislation. I’m referring, of course, to the Satanists.

BATKID BEGINS The trailer for a touching-looking new doc is out.

About Stephen Whitworth

"The self-described 'handsome, wise and beloved' editor of the magazine..." --Faith Goldy, Sun News Network

4 Responses to Daily Aggregation: The Littlest Dark Knight

  1. Barb Saylor July 29, 2014 at 1:54 pm #

    (1) The pension covers more than city workers, and, yes, it’s been in trouble for years, and yes, it’s going to take some gritted-teeth effort to alleviate the problems.
    (2) Well, if a boy’s cremains can be returned by a repentant thief, maybe this tricycle can be, too.
    (3) For all the people who will say “But I thought we had that problem beaten, once and for all!” — No. Not just condoms, but also dental dams, are called for, as well as regular testing, acting immediately when symptoms show themselves, and responsible behaviour while undergoing medical treatment. Remember, too: gonorrhea is bad, but syphilis can kill you.
    (4) This is a very good thing: the long-overdue arrival of accountability to another level of government.

  2. Ron July 29, 2014 at 7:51 pm #

    1. I’m supposed to care ? The city or province dosn’t offer part-time workers anything.. other than offering a really low minimum wage & Jacking ” operating costs” ;ie city tax for city worker’s, wage increases, every year.

    46789. “government” LOL! add to 1. same

  3. Ron July 29, 2014 at 7:53 pm #

    Detroit will become a ghost city , filled with ; “the new homeless” & “the regular homeless”.

  4. Ron July 30, 2014 at 1:25 am #

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bv5KSPgDX1w

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