Flee In Terror From Graffiti Beholder!

Beholder
ARMOR CLASS: 0/2/7
MOVE: 3”
HIT DICE: 45-75 hit points
% IN LAIR: 80%
TREASURE TYPE: I, S, T
NO. OF ATTACKS: 1
DAMAGE/ATTACK: 2-8
SPECIAL ATTACKS: Magic
SPECIAL DEFENSES: Anti-magic ray
INTELLIGENCE: Exceptional
ALIGNMENT: Lawful evil
SIZE: L

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This graffiti beastie (for which I’ve helpfully provided full D&D stats above — er — I’m sorry… is my nerd showing?) appeared on the east side of the Westminster United Church on 13th Ave. Isn’t it awesome? Thought it might be a stencil when I saw it from a distance but no, that looks like it was done freehand. Wow! Bask in its majesty! Wish there was more of this and less of the crappy tagging that’s been plaguing Cathedral of late.

Author: Paul Dechene

Paul Dechene is 5'10'' tall and he was born in a place. He's not there now. He's sitting in front of his computer writing his bio for this blog. He has a song stuck in his head. It's "Girl From Ipanema", thanks for asking. You can follow Paul on Twitter at @pauldechene and get live updates during city council meetings and other city events at @PDcityhall.

7 thoughts on “Flee In Terror From Graffiti Beholder!”

  1. Sorry, I’m not fluent in D+D. Does it’s ‘Alignment’ mean it votes conservative?

  2. I hate to say it, but it’s a stencil… I did an interview with the person who runs the design/clothing store next to the Creek and we toured her whole building talking about what was and wasn’t ‘good’ graffiti. I thought the eyeball creature on her building was fantastic, she… not so much.

  3. Carle: Well, it’s a great stencil. And I stand by my, I’d rather see more of these and fewer tags.

    Dewdney: I think you’ll find it means one of these guys is secretly running the Conservatives from the shadows.

  4. I know – it doesn’t make it less great, because it is.

    Re: its possible link to the conservatives — wouldn’t it be all assholes instead of eyes? I think we’re safe.

  5. Moon Daddy: What? I never said I didn’t like those. Thought they were great. And the ones that said “don’t STOP believing” were good too. And don’t forget the “Keep it Riel” stencils that appeared last summer, was it? I miss those.

    Carle: Don’t be so quick to pooh-pooh the Beholder-Conservative conspiracy. A giant eyeball creature secretly manipulating a bunch of assholes? Makes perfect sense. I think our anonymous graffiti artist might have unwittingly stumbled onto something.

  6. The thing Carle doesn’t get about beholders is they HAVE no assholes. They retain all feces in an ever-bulging bloat. That’s why the old ones are the biggest and meanest. Also why you have to be careful about poking them–they might burst on you.

    On graffiti: I love the Audry Hepburn and black cat stencils you see sometimes. Tags suck. They’re the spray can equivalent of dogs peeing on trees.

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