Four In The Afternoon

1. WHO CARES ANYMORE? The Dow Jones Industrial Average took a brutal plunge in the wake of recent economic reports. What did these reports say? That the U.S. economy is still tanking. Can we not just accept that the world economy is in permanent roller coaster mode? Or maybe we can stick the stock markets and all the traders in a big domed amusement park. Then we can all get on with getting quietly drunk and waiting for the roller coaster to soar off into space.

2. WOMEN REMAIN UNAWARE OF STROKE WARING SIGNS. A Heart and Stroke Foundation study has shown that, for whatever reason, Canadian women are less adept than men at identifying the warning signs of a stroke. Women out there! Take heed of these warning signs! Symptoms include dizziness, blurred vision and reading itemized news lists on the internet.

3. HARPER SPOKESMAN LOOKING FOR WORK. Harpers’ director of communications Dimitri Soudas has stepped down from his post. Presumably he’s now looking for another job, so if any HR people are reading this? Don’t hire him.

4. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARILYN MONROE! YOU’RE DEAD. If people were sane, they would not be celebrating the birthday of someone who’s been dead for decades. But we are not sane, and we never have been. So happy 85th birthday, Marilyn! You’re bones!

Author: Aidan Morgan

Aidan is a very serious man who's saving up for a nice dignified pipe. Then we'll see who's laughing.

10 thoughts on “Four In The Afternoon”

  1. # 4: Oh, lighten up, sir. We celebrate the birthdays of great music composers, of Martin Luther King, and of statespersons and religious figures, so why not Marilyn Monroe? Maybe this is a generational thing.

  2. Well, I mean it’s not like Marilyn Monroe was a great composer, a statesperson, a religious figure, and MLK rolled up into one Kennedy-banging package.

  3. Re: Soudas

    Is it customary for PMO comms directors to “leave” after just one year? Lotta people in PMO comms seem to jet after just 12 months. Maybe they’re making room for that perpetual failure from Saskatchewan, Kory Teneycke.

  4. Well, in my opinion Jack Elam is as big of a screen icon of vulnerable sensuality as Marilyn, but you don’t see anybody celebrating HIS birthday.

  5. Barb – I was being light. At any rate, I wasn’t making a judgement on the cultural value of Marilyn Monroe – just our habit of wishing dead people a happy birthday.

  6. Barb – I should add that you are making an unwarranted assumption about my age. I am actually 50 years older than you. Also, when I’m in the rear view mirror I’m closer than I appear.

  7. Aidan—I enjoyed your work in Jurassic Park, especially when you were chasing Jeff Goldblum and his jeep.

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