1 THE TITLE OF THIS POST EXPLAINED Chinese firm CNOOC Ltd. has bought Canadian oil sands partner Nexen Inc. for $15 bil, meaning that a company whose base of operations is a nation governed by a large and brutal dictatorship now falls under the, pfffffffftahahahahahaha, the “ethical oil” banner. Ahahaha.
2 ISN’T THERE AN O. HENRY STORY THAT’S SORT OF ABOUT THIS The Tories have decided to save the environment by, uh, building a huge and expensive waste treatment plant instead of doing what scientists suggest and continue to put sewage into the ocean. I don’t want to be the first one who tells them where fish shit.
3 AAA I CAN’T WAIT No seriously I cannot wait to find out details of PM Stephen Harper’s meeting with Toronto mayor Rob Ford in the wake of Ford’s new scheme (read: insane desire grounded in nothing resembling fact) that ex-cons be cast out from his city as if it were an island nation in a bad B-movie or a European realm in the centuries before they invented regular bathing.
4 CRIME IS DOWN NATIONALLY Well, I guess it’s time we eat our words, as it appears that getting “tough” on crime w- oh, wait, the tough-on-crime approach is in legislation that hasn’t been implemented yet, and these stats are from 2011, ha ha, whoops. But Vic Toews has decided nevertheless to take credit for his government’s contribution to the lowering of a crime rate that has been steadily dropping since the early nineties, through policies that in large part have not been enacted yet. In other :( news Regina still has the highest crime rate in the country, dang.