Four In The Afternoon: Thornton’s Cock

4 in the Afternoon1 WELL ALL RIGHT, THEY’RE GOOD TOO, BUT NOBEL PRIZE AUDIENCES ARE DISAPPOINTED The Organisation for the Prohibition of Chemical Weapons won this year’s Nobel Peace Prize for their work dismantling Syria’s chemical weapons stockpile. Good on OPCW, but it’s a bit of a bummer that Pakistan’s Malala Yousafzai, 16, who was shot in the head by the Taliban because she fights for girls’ rights to education, didn’t get the award. Ah well. She’s got her whole life. Also, she just won the European Union’s Sakharov Prize for Freedom Of Thought, so yay!

2 HOUSING FIRST, YES PLEASE Carmichael Outreach says you can’t help homeless people unless you get them into homes.

3 COMING HOME Canadians John Greyson and Tarek Loubani, who’d been detained in Egypt after being arrested during anti-government riots, are finally making their way back to Canada. Apparently, Egyptian prisons suck.

4 THAT DOG HAD IT COMING Regina police were justified in shooting a chained pitbull after they entered its yard. Sadness and anger. In other dog news, Air Canada lost a dog and it kinda sounds like an honest acciden, but then someone from Air Canada sent the media a somewhat dickish e-mail about it, and kabooooom.

WHAT ELSE? A terrifying storm is bearing down on India; The guy who helped write the U.S. Patriot Act is writing new legislation to rein in intelligence agencies because they abused their power and who could’ve predicted that, ha ha ha ha ha; the Vatican misspelled “Jesus”; the U.S. fired the general who’s in charge of the country’s nukes; a man posing as an undercover cop might be up to no good; David Suzuki says Stephen Harper can’t be trusted while business leaders who understand money but not science are all like, “yay pipelines”; Rob Ford lost another ally; unemployment is down in Canada but up in Saskatchewan and Canadian kids are going to doodle-up Google.

IN CONCLUSION, “I’D HAVE MY COCK OUT IF I SCORED FOUR GOALS. I’D HAVE MY COCK OUT, STROKING IT” Joe Thornton is cool with having his fucking hilarious quip printed, and anyway, they were on the record.

Author: Stephen Whitworth

Prairie Dog editor Stephen Whitworth will never, ever pass up a chance to make a Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo pun.

5 thoughts on “Four In The Afternoon: Thornton’s Cock”

  1. “rein in”… Kings reign (think of the “g” in “king”, and that should help you remember which spelling to use).

    Somebody at the Vatican isn’t infallible (har-de-har-har).

    (1) If the Nobel Committee probably made very much the same determination as you did re: relative merits and timing. And, as you note, she did not go unrecognized.

    (4) Is anyone surprised, really, by Air Canada’s doings?

  2. So now a chained dog is a threat to those who ( with our (sic) authority),) carry guns & wear bullet proof vests..
    I think this 1 needs a re-do.

  3. I’m not surprised by some Air Canada cust service employee’s email; despite recent humiliations by management, they still fancy themselves Canada’s most-swingingest transportation company and people. He/she was wrong to dismiss local media based on the Republican govt shutdown.

    However, I fly Air Canada every chance I get. Westjet has devolved into a sort of Beverly Hillbilly airline, with terrible in-flight entertainment, and they’re as likely to cancel undersold flights and re-route as AC is. Furthermore, compared to US airlines who charge for ALL checked bags, AC (and Westjet) do not, which is a huge bonus.

    Oh, and AC’s smaller 2-seats/2-seat rows are waaay cooler than “riding ou-know-what” in a Westjet centre seat.

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