Here’s What Rosie Thinks Is Going To Happen In 2012, Mayans Be Damned

Okay, the world hasn’t ended – yet — so, it’s time to dust the crystal ball and clean off the Predictions Desk. Here’s mine, for what it’s worth.

National politics

The Royal Canadian Mounted Police’s sexual harassment scandal will grow like a cancer, and there will be cases of events that happened after Bob Paulsen became commissioner, in which senior Mounties tried to cover up the wrongdoing. Neither the RCMP nor the federal government will do anything about it.

The F-35 contract for new interceptors will go wildly over its budget by the year end, and will also be delayed in its deployment for two years. Originally supposed to cost $65 million a copy, the 66 planes the Canadian government wants to purchase from Lockheed Martin will instead cost about $130 million a copy.

Somebody will win the NDP federal leadership race. It won’t be Brian Topp. (It shouldn’t be Brian Topp …). The federal Liberals will promise to get around to replacing interim leader Bob Rae. Someday.
Provincial politics

The visit of Prince Charles and Camilla will be pretty much ignored by most Canadians, including their trip to Saskatchewan. Unlike the visit of Will and Kate, which sparked a lot of ‘Canada’s new love affair with the British Monarchy’ articles, Saskatchewan and Canadian media will pretty much ignore that nobody gives a flying fig about that part of the monarchy.

The Saskatchewan NDP will defer a leadership convention until the summer of 2014, giving those interested in the job almost three years to get their campaigns ready. There will be five names bounced around as leadership material this time around – Noah Evanchuk, Danielle Chartier, Warren McCall, Trent Wotherspoon, and Cam Broten. At least one will pull out of the unofficial race this year – and it won’t be Chartier.

International politics

Barack Obama will win a second term as U.S. president, defeating both Republican candidate Mitt Romney and an independent campaign led by Ron Paul with Michele Bachmann as his running mate. The Republicans’ hold on both houses of Congress will be weakened, but not removed, which will not stop the legislative gridlock in Washington for at least the next two years.

The London Olympics will be a major financial and organizational embarrassment to Britain, but David Cameron’s coalition government will survive. However, Whitehall and Westminster will fear that the Scottish nationalist government will use the British Olympic screw-ups – and fears of the same thing happening when Glasgow hosts the Commonwealth Games in 2014 – as ammunition to dissolve the Union of Great Britain.

Regina politics

Mayor Mullet will run again, and win, because the activist/NDP/social change types will stay home again instead of rallying round David Robert Loblaw’s campaign. Fiacco will win even though he won’t say until after the election that the major project that he spent much of 2011 working on – the proposed new Roughriders stadium – now appears dead because of a lack of private sector involvement.

Media

It will be a bad year for Canadian television production. The flameout of one of the few new Canadian-made television shows made this year, MuchMusic’s ‘The L.A. Compex,’ will be used by ShawGlobal, Rogers, and CTV Bellmedia as evidence that Canadians won’t watch Canadian-made television. In response, the CRTC will further relax Canadian content regulations for dramatic television to almost nothing. With its budget cut by 10 per cent, CBC will not be able to replace its prime-time Canadian programming that ended this year – Being Erica, Michael Tuesdays and Thursdays, and Little Mosque on the Prairie.

Birdsong Communications will sell its remaining shares of the Saskatchewan Communications Network to Rogers/CityTV, and local programming will all but cease, apart from the news desk.

There will be a case of attempted murder – or a successful murder – on a ‘reality’ TV show. The resulting media firestorm will make the O.J. Simpson trail look like a misdemeanour charge at traffic court. (Okay, there’s a guy at Grantland who thinks the same thing.)

Sports

Canada will suck at the London Olympics.

Jordan Weal will not be traded from the Regina Pats at the WHL trade deadline. The Pats will go out in the second round of playoffs, earning head coach Pat Conacher the WHL’s Coach of the Year honor. But stuck with a roster littered with few younger players talented enough to deserve a major junior roster spot in 2012-13, Conacher will be fired by Christmas as the Pats sink to the Eastern Division basement.

The Saskatchewan Roughriders will wander around the lower reaches of the CFL’s western division, finishing with an 8-10 record. A three-game winning streak at the season’s twilight will be enough for Jim Hopson to offer Brendan Taman a three-year contract.

The CFL will ignore the slow but steady rise of popularity of soccer in general and Major League Soccer in particular, just as it ignored Major League Baseball and the Toronto Blue Jays. This will haunt the CFL in the next decade, as it slides into the same money and marketing problems the league faced in the 1980s and 1990s.

Author: Stephen LaRose

2006 winner of the Canadian Association of University Teachers's Award of Excellence in Journalism for a bunch of prairie dog stuff. Invited into the best homes in Regina. Once.

33 thoughts on “Here’s What Rosie Thinks Is Going To Happen In 2012, Mayans Be Damned”

  1. PREDICTION FOR 2012: “Strange occurrences are afoot in Beebe, Arkansas, apparently. For the third year in a row hundreds of blackbirds have fallen dead from the sky on New Year’s Eve.”

    © 2009 PRAIRIEDOG MAGAZINE. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

  2. There was a TV show recently in which birds fell from the sky. Something about blackout experiments.

    The best thing about the Canadian Olympic team will be its outfits: rose-coloured v-neck tees, skinny jeans, no-lace high-tops, ray-bans, and white ear buds plugged into yellow belt-clipped sony sport walkmans.

    As for the prov. NDP race, I’m not sure about Evanchuk or McCall but I did hear something about the young Tchorkowski (totally torched the spelling on that).

    Too close to call on Obama. I’m not sure there’s a single happy American right now, but whether they have enuf desire to make Mitt their new spokesperson is v. questionable. Agree, Obama wins by one state and 51% of vote. I’m pretty sure Ron Paul thinks Michelle’s a joke, non?

    NADER!

  3. PREDICTION for 2012: “Makowsky grows impatient waiting for appointment to cabinet position in Wall government. Crosses floor. NDP calls news conference to introduce Lingenfelter replacement. Gene! Gene! Gene!”

    © 2009 PRAIRIEDOG MAGAZINE. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

  4. PREDICTION for 2012: “Fresh Jr. sells shares in Booster Juice and, pooling financial resources with Beatty, opens coffee house called Critical Discussion.”

    © 2009 PRAIRIEDOG MAGAZINE. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

  5. PREDICTION for 2012: “To observe April Fool’s Day, Whitworth publishes mock edition of prairie dog magazine full of typos. No one notices.”

    © 2009 PRAIRIEDOG MAGAZINE. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

  6. PREDICTION for 2012: “Matheson declares, ‘I’ve done more than my share, dammit!’ Vows NOT to contribute to Canada’s population explosion ‘this year’.”

    © 2009 PRAIRIEDOG MAGAZINE. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

  7. PREDICTION for 2012: “Bettman, Campbell, Shanahan promise NHL will crack down on cracking down.”

    © 2009 PRAIRIEDOG MAGAZINE. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

  8. PREDICTION for 2012: “Boston Minor Hockey Association names rink after Mike Milbury.”

    © 2009 PRAIRIEDOG MAGAZINE. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

  9. I’m intrigued by the reality show prediction and also intrigued with how that would impact the Grantland Reality Fantasy League scoring system.

  10. PREDICTION for 2012: “IOC awards Winter Games to Mordor.”

    © 2009 PRAIRIEDOG MAGAZINE. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

  11. PREDICTION for 2012: “Thousands gather in U.S. national park to protest naming of hiking path for O.J. Simpson; order restored when prairie dog admits ‘trail’ was a typo.”

    © 2009 PRAIRIEDOG MAGAZINE. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

  12. PREDICTION for 2012: “Standup comedians Yates, MacRae reunite for Halloween Special on SCN. ‘Dans Macabre’ a hit with viewers.”

    © 2009 PRAIRIEDOG MAGAZINE. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

  13. Ron + Michelle ??? LMFAO

    Mr. Loblaw should take advantage of Mullet Fiasco’s 6 week London boxing vacation. oops!I mean promoting Regina abroad mission. Name 1 Canadian boxer, that made it big time, other than George Chuvalo.

    Media whatever, I get news from the web that 99.99% of isn’t covered locally.
    Hearing / promting a local band on Regina commercial Radio, is still not happening. Sheepdogs were in a contest, all of their effort up until that was pretty much unnoticed by the corp. radio “music directors”.

    CFL will still be the talk of the town.
    Roughriders…West semi for sure w / Dinwiddie.

    Taylor field now idle for 3 months,curious as to why no reno’s are going on during this beautiful Fall/ Winter.
    When 2013 comes along are the fans that come from out of province, gonna get to be at the exact same tired( not useless ), building that was here in 2003?

    I guess Patty think’s that’s ok for Regina’s cred.
    CoR can’t remove snow worth a shit, so I’m guessin that Stadium upkeep is over their collective heads too.
    Flatten the playing suface while yer at it, and MABYE we might get a Women’s W/C soccer ( practice ) game or 2 here for 2015.

    Privatize all City work! The work will get done then. Cap all CoR salaries as well. What they get now is plenty enough.

  14. #17 If memory serves, he knocked down Archie Moore three times in the same round.

    © 2009 PRAIRIEDOG MAGAZINE. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

  15. #17 Also Willie de Wit — until he turned pro. You’re too young to remember the Bert Cooper fight, Barb. I was there. It was not a pretty sight.

    © 2009 PRAIRIEDOG MAGAZINE. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

  16. #17
    Touche! but George took him down too, 11 years before facing Cassius Clay.

    Yes Durelle was 8 years older, but Cassius is 5 years younger.

  17. Tents will prevail in the Provincial parks, this summer, Occupy a gov’t laced park!! Motor vehicles only pollute!

    Lac of reality Wascana included.

  18. I wasn’t yet a teen, but I remember that 1987 fight! “Tell them Nicky boy is here.” Smokin’ Bert Cooper pummels De Wit back into the Thatcher St. Laurent administration and makes him wish he was never born.

  19. #22 Shameless name-dropping: I was watching from ringside that day with Mayor Pat. Only he wasn’t Mayor Pat back then. He was Just Plain Pat. For me, the most memorable thing about that fight is that I got to meet Jim McKay afterwards.

    © 2009 PRAIRIEDOG MAGAZINE. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

  20. If I’m old enough to remember Yvon Durelle, I’m old enough to remember Willie de Wit. By then, though, I’d lost interest in boxing. Also, various Hilton brothers did well in the ring — though badly outside it.

  21. Re: St. Valentine’s Day Massacre; Jim McKay, was the ABC Sports commentator? The only redeeming thing about that fight was that it spared Willie an even more savage beating at the hands of Mike Tyson. Unrivaled for gore until the smackdown of one Vain Dwain Thrombosis by “Wall of Rock” Premier Bradley & his friends in the “liberal” media and Twittersphere in the Nov 7th battle for the New Saskatchewan.

  22. #24 Boxing was never the same for Willie, either.

    © 2009 PRAIRIEDOG MAGAZINE. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

  23. #25 Yes, THAT Jim McKay. He was a good man, Talbot. A good man.

    © 2009 PRAIRIEDOG MAGAZINE. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

  24. Hmm, good to know. Feb 14, 1987…that was our 9/11. Thank goodness for the Calgary Games 1988, which restored honour and integrity. That was ‘our’ Reagan. Oh, but then Ben Johnson mere months later. That was our George W. Bush.

  25. #27 On the bright side … Donovan Bailey trained in Regina before winning his Olympic gold medal. He was recuperating from an injury and predicting great things, when I spoke with him, but nobody took him seriously — not even me.

    © 2009 PRAIRIEDOG MAGAZINE. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

  26. CORRECTION
    #28 On the bright side … Donovan Bailey trained in Regina before winning his Olympic gold medal. He was recuperating from an injury and predicting great things, when I spoke with him, but nobody took him seriously — not even me.

    © 2009 PRAIRIEDOG MAGAZINE. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

  27. Well, no one named Donovan had ever won a gold medal before. Now they call him mellow yellow.

  28. Mulcair becomes NDP leader
    Rommey becomes GOP leader
    CBC gets worst
    Leafs miss playoffs
    Last two predictions are sure bets

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