Hey Ladies! Need A Pen?

Bic has released a line of “for Her” pens designed especially for the gentler sex. And the ladies of the internet have gone wild for them. Here’s a sampling of the reviews on Amazon….

I work for a major car manufacturer in the United States… a secretary, of course. Anyway, sometimes my boss asks me to write down what hes saying (I can’t remember what that’s called) and he always treats me like an idiot when the pens falls from my hand. I cried a lot. Now I know that it isn’t my fault I can’t hold it!

When I saw these, I immediately thought of my boss! He would be so proud of me, I think. The problem is, because I don’t work as hard as men do, I don’t earn the same salary and I can’t afford them. I thought about asking my boss to buy them for me, but I wanted it to be a surprise for him to see how smart I had gotten. So I asked one of the guys down on the third floor to do it and he told me I would owe him “favors” if he did. I agreed- whatever he wants is well worth climbing the ranks at my job and impressing those around me with my lovely taste and excellent writing skills. I CAN’T WAIT FOR THEM TO ARRIVE!
— from Kristy, 5 star review

I thought this would work like all the similar products I’ve bought in the past, but I keep urinating on it and it won’t turn pink *OR* blue!
— from Basil White, 1 star review

I don’t use pens much – mostly to write the name of my crush on a piece of paper and draw hearts around it. While they look pretty and well-suited for this kind of day-dreaming, I was very disappointed that the ink was of such a manly colour – shouldn’t girls write in pink? Is this for girls who want to be like men? I still gave it 4 stars, though, because I’m sure the men at BiC had something very clever in mind that my tiny little woman brain cannot grasp. And women should not contradict men, anyway, it would be rude and unwomanly.
— from mj, 4 star review

With my special ‘woman’s hands’, made useless as a geisha’s feet with carbuncled rings and glittery acrylic nails, I have found the perfectprettypinkpuffballpen. Soft-as-swansdown and scented like kitten-wee (kittens force-fed-violet-and-rose-creams-like-veal), my joined-up-writing now benefits from daisies dotting the i’s and love-hearts for full stops. My literary life would be made perfect if BIC could now invent a pen that doesn’t even touch my petal skin but hovers in my lilac-stroking, Flake-posting paws like the badly-drawn butterflies that hover over my much-practised-yet-effortless-signature. XXXXXX
— from perfectprettypinkpuffballpeta, 5 star review

Author: Paul Dechene

Paul Dechene is 5'10'' tall and he was born in a place. He's not there now. He's sitting in front of his computer writing his bio for this blog. He has a song stuck in his head. It's "Girl From Ipanema", thanks for asking. You can follow Paul on Twitter at @pauldechene and get live updates during city council meetings and other city events at @PDcityhall.

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