How’s New Zealand Doing?

If you’ve been following all your recent Rapture lore, New Zealand was supposed to be the first one hit. Yep, after the righteous were zipped up to Heaven, leaving clothes or Bibles or whatever else they had on their persons to just clatter and fall to the ground, the rest of the country was supposed to pay for its transgressions, like holding up production on The Hobbit.

Well, a couple of illustrative quotes from a Telegraph story:

Inhabitants of New Zealand, scheduled to be among the first to meet the apocalypse according to a US fundamentalist preacher, this morning confirmed they were still in existence as the appointed time was reached in their time zone.

There were also unconfirmed reports that Tonga has, thus far, failed to boil into the Pacific.

And a little bit more:

Similarly, on the Pacific islands whose clocks ticked over to 6pm before the fateful hour hit New Zealand, there was no evidence of a “super horror story” predicted by Camping – no zombies, no true believers hurtling skywards, no arch-angels and no trumpeters.

The article is decently snarky and, dare I say it, looks carefully done enough that it may have been written yesterday under the assumption that the Rapture wouldn’t happen. (Lord forbid.)

But here’s a question: can we trust the media on this? Speaking of a member of all the secret cabals, I’m sure in the event of the Rapture, there’d be memos going out like mad about how we’d tried to lie to you and cover it up, mostly for the hell of it.

I guess for all the Saskatchewan readers of this blog, you’ll just have to wait to see for yourselves. T-minus a little over ten hours.

Author: James Brotheridge

Contributing Editor with Prairie Dog.