Monday Morning Alligator

Poor thing!

Police managed to whisk a 2-foot-long alligator into a box after a traveler spotted it under an escalator at O’Hare International Airport. The person made the bizarre discovery Friday in the lower level of Terminal 3, Police News Affairs Officer Hector Alfaro said. The unexpected trespasser was transferred to the care of the Chicago Herpetological Society. The 3-year-old American alligator, dubbed “Allie” by police, was still “in distress ’’ Sunday and was suffering from a metabolic bone deficiency, which likely means its diet was poor and lacked calcium for some time before it was found, according to a spokesman for the Chicago Herpetological Society.

Alligators are not pets. Well, okay, maybe, MAYBE,  if you have some kind of epic alligator-owner licence and you know what you’re doing and have the resources, you could, in theory, give a pet alligator a great life. But 99.99 per cent of people — including  you, me, Detroit Lions safety Louis Delmas and the dink who abandoned today’s headline-making snoogy-woogums — should not own alligators.

To conclude: DON’T GET A PET ALLIGATOR. Thank you.

Here’s a video of an adorable pet alligator.

Author: Stephen Whitworth

Prairie Dog editor Stephen Whitworth will never, ever pass up a chance to make a Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo pun.

9 thoughts on “Monday Morning Alligator”

  1. I’m glad to see you advocate against keeping alligators as pets, Stephen. Most ‘gators are acquired as little guys – and then they grow. Suddenly they’re taking up a lot of space, they’re getting stroppy and harder to feed, and no one wants to give them veterinary care, or babysit them while their owners go on holiday. What chlorinated water and indoor life does to their systems, I can’t imagine. They need to be in the swamps and rivers they evolved for, getting what they need from their natural environment.

    People who care about battery hens should give some thought to the equally cribbed-in exotic pets.

  2. I have a vague memory of a little advertisement in a comicbook from the 70s for pet baby alligators you could mail away for.

  3. Okay this is creepy. There is no comic book ad for pet alligators. (Spider monkeys and chameleons, yes. Alligators, no.) What I’m remembering is the plot of an episode of Leave It To Beaver.

  4. I grew up in Kitchener, Ont, and there was a Buffalo station we could pick up that showed reruns of it. Also carried a steady stream of Gilligan’s Island, Andy Griffith, Perry Mason and Petticoat Junction.

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