1 SOMETHING SOMETHING F-35 SOMETHING SOMETHING Jesus Christ on Ground Zero, it has taken those brownnosers at the Parliamentary Press Gallery long enough to figure out that Stephen Harper’s management style is prone to complete and utter fuckups. My favourite is from Michael Harris, but it’s better to read what the auditor general actually wrote and lock yourself in the basement, or you may have an uncontrollable, illegal, but understandable urge to go up to the nearest Conservative MP, knock him unconscious, steal everything in his wallet and tell the cops that you can do a better job of spending your hard earned tax dollars – as the human swine such as Lukiwski, Scheer and Boughen siphon from our paycheques – than they do.
2 SURE TOOK THEM LONG ENOUGH, BUT DINOSAURS WERE NOTORIOUSLY SLOW TO ADAPT, TOO Well, after three weeks or more, the American political right has finally figured out some talking points about the Trayvon Martin case. The fact that they’re total baloney? Never stopped them on anything else.
3 WAR ON WOMEN IS AS FAKE AS A WAR ON CATERPILLARS, SAYS RNC CHAIRMAN That’s right. We’re just here to protect you. From those problems with abortion and getting the same health care coverage as men, and all that.
4 CHRIST ON A CRUTCH, THE CARILLON’S STANDARDS ARE FALLING Next time, get a real magazine or newspaper to parody, amIrite kids?
5 IN HONOR OF THE OPENING OF THE BASEBALL SEASON Here’s George Carlin explaining why baseball is better than football.
6 AND IF YOU HEAR SOMETHING THAT SOUNDS LIKE A SATURDAY MORNING, IT’S BECAUSE THE STORY WAS REPRINTED IN THE LEADER POST AND MY HEAD EXPLODED This can’t be true. Nobody would be that stupid. According to Elizabeth May’s Twitter feed, some Conservative backbencher quoted Martin Luther King to celebrate the end of the long gun registry. How was King assassinated? From long range, by a rifle!
YOUR MUSICAL MOMENT OF ZEN The man who revolutionized the pinball machine industry by installing flippers on the machine recently passed away, reaching a high score of 100, according to his New York Times obituary (here’s more on how the flippers revolutionized – and legalized pinball). In his honour, prairie dog is unable to prevent the following video, featuring Sir Elton John and The Who in … well, it was the 1970s and the movie was directed by Ken Russell.
Now that’s out of the way, here’s The Who performing the same song on the Tom Jones television show in England in 1968.