Six In The Morning

Dog Blog’s morning news round-up, which has probably never, ever actually been posted at 6:00 a.m.

1 BUDGET! “Steady Budget Offers few Surprises”, says CBC. “Hope Keeps Flaherty’s Balanced Budget Afloat“, says the Globe And Mail. “This Budget Will Set Conservative Hearts Aglow“, says the Toronto Star’s Chantal Hébert. “Feds Aim For 17.6 Billion In Savings Over five Years“, says the Leader-Post.

2 MORE BUDGET! Saskatchewan’s Finance minister ironically says the federal budget is marred by wishful thinking on revenues. (I like the fact Gantefoer acknowledges the irony. Yes, he had to, I know. I still like it. I like it when politicians admit their screw-ups — makes them seem human.)

3 STILL MORE BUDGET “Canada’s Wind Energy Sector Laments Loss of Incentives” says the Leader-Post. “PM Gambles that Voters care About The Deficit, Little Else” says the Globe’s John Ibbitsion.

4 JAPAN WON’T JOIN TUNA BAN “There is no choice for the Japanese government. We Japanese eat tuna,” says one Japanese wholesaler. (Washington Post) Well here’s a thought, moron: let’s just fucking eat all the bluefin tuna and then it will be gone forever. How’s that sound Japan, you fucking idiots?

5 VATICAN GAY SEX SCANDAL A “Gentleman Of His Holiness”–yes, that’s apparently a job title–was busted for negotiating with a male prostitute. Huh there’s a shock, closeted gays in the Catholic Church. (Guardian)

6 DID YOU HEAR? A GUNMAN WAS KILLED TRYING TO ENTER THE PENTAGON LAST NIGHT. So, an angry white nutter who believed the U.S. government was behind the 9-11 attacks turns to armed, anti-government violence. (He was a marijuana user too–so much for the cliche of the mellow pothead.) (Washington Post) What did I just say?

Author: Stephen Whitworth

Prairie Dog editor Stephen Whitworth will never, ever pass up a chance to make a Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo pun.