Six In The Morning

1. DUBAI’S ISLANDS ARE SINKING. In an unintentional symbol of what’s happening to Dubai and the rest of the world right now, the amazing artificial islands of Dubai are slipping into the sea. Go visit them now before they’re gone. (Inhabitat)

2. US MUST ‘WIN THE FUTURE’. In a State of the Union address last night that featured no boos or shouts of “You lie!”, POTUS Obama outlined a plan for ‘wining the future,’ which makes me think that the future is a) a carnival prize, or b) controlled by Skynet. Obama called for a bipartisan effort to move America forward, which as we know has gone so well over the last two years. (New York Times)

3. WAL-MART CONTINUES TO DRAIN CANADA OF ALL LIFE. Wal-Mart Canada recently announced plans to open 40 ‘supercentres’ (ie. a standard Wal-Mart with a grocery store attached averaging around 17,400 square metres) in Canada. This makes me happy, because emptied-out downtowns start looking picturesque after a few years. Eventually someone opens up a hip juice bar in the abandoned hardware store. (The Globe And Mail)

4. REPORTER RECORDS HIS OWN BEATING IN CAIRO. British journalist Jack Schenker was beaten by police and arrested at the protests in Cairo on Tuesday night. Amazingly, he and a group of prisoners actually managed to escape from a police van and get an unconscious protester to the hospital. Even more amazingly, he made an audio recording of his experience. (Guardian)

5. LOL SO GILLTY. The judge in the Dustin Paxton torture trial has banned the public from the courtroom over worries that endless Twitter feeds and Facebook postings might prove prejudicial and make it difficult for the accused to get a fair trial. You know, I think they’re going in the wrong direction with handling social media. Trials should be conducted entirely on the defendant’s Facebook wall. (Leader-Post)

6. TOYOTA WOULD LIKE THOSE 12,000 VEHICLES BACK. A problem with a fuel pressure sensor in some its vehicles has prompted Toyota to recall 1.5 million vehicles worldwide, 12,000 of which are in Canada. The vehicles affected are the 2006-through-2007 Lexus GS300/350, 2006-through-early-2009 Lexus IS250, and 2006-through-early-2008 Lexus IS350. So if you own a recent model Lexus, screw you. (Leader-Post)

Author: Aidan Morgan

Aidan is a very serious man who’s saving up for a nice dignified pipe. Then we’ll see who’s laughing.