1 THEY’RE BAAAAAAAAACK Politicians return to Ottawa and election buzz escalates. Bzz bzzz bzzz!
2 TRYING TO SAVE A SCHOOL Concerned citizens met this weekend to discuss Athabasca school. The school is scheduled to close at the end of this school year.
3 EXODUS AFOOT Canadians are fleeing Egypt. Weenies! Kind of seems like something interesting’s being born there, wouldn’t it be worthwhile to be a part of that?
THEN AGAIN Scummy, thieving fuckers are using the turmoil as an excuse to loot and vandalize Egyptian museums. Evil:
4 RIP, JOHN BARRY The composer was famous for his James Bond scores.
5 BUSINESS ORDERS SLED DOGS SHOT Appalling.
6 DID SOME DINOSAURS SURVIVE MASS EXTINCTION? Short answer is “no”, but I link to this for purposes of wistfulness.