1 MASSIVE EARTHQUAKE IN NEW ZEALAND The Guardian U.K. has been updating the story since it broke.
2 DO IT WITH CLASS SUFFERS FIRE According to the Leader Post story, operations will be shut down for a week while they figure out what to do. It’s a damn shame for such a great local cultural institution to suffer such a loss, and hopefully they can recover quickly.
3 WISCONSIN STALEMATE STILL STALE Governor still a union-busting dick; Democrats still have little hope for success. All info we know.
4 HAVE WE GOT A FORMER CHINESE OFFICIAL RUNNING AROUND CANADA WITH $14-MILLION DOLLARS? Maybe?
5 “THE WAR ON THE CAR IS OVER”? Oh, Rob Ford, you card. What respectable ideas about transit you have for your large, metropolitan centre.
6 N.F.L. PLAYERS OPENING NEGOTIATIONS UP TO THEIR FOLLOWERS Now, you can follow all your favourite players to get their views on their contracts as they have them. Or, see if the Riders can use their status to get out of tickets. (The answer, at least for Shomari Williams, is no.)
BONUS Limbaugh calls someone other than himself fat; New York Times picture makes a no-longer mayor look like the saddest man in the world; and by the end of today, Chicago will have to admit to themselves that there won’t be a Daley around to lead them anymore.