Six In The Morning: Cuts, Sadness, Cyberpranks, Sports And Sharks

1 CONSERVATIVES SAY CUTTING FOUR BILLION BUCKS IN SPENDING IS NO BIG DEAL Well, it’s certainly a fancy goal. And a fine one — because “We All Know” that “Governments Waste Our Money” right? This is just “Common Sense”, people!

2 A BELOVED WOMAN WAS MURDERED Just horrible.

3 FUKUSHIMA: BAD RAD TWICE AS SAD A lot more radiation was released in Japan’s nuclear accident than we thought.

4 FREAK BEAR ACCIDENT KILLS TWO Weird and tragic.

5 NHLAPALOOZA: BOSTON DESTROYS VANCOUVER AND MAKES IT A SERIES! THE B’S STAR SCORER IS OUT FOR THE REST OF THE FINALS WITH A SEVERE CONCUSSION! HOW ABOUT TIM THOMAS? AND EAT IT, TICKET SCALPING SCUM!!! Except for Aaron Rome’s late hit that wrecked Nathan Horton, which sucked to watch, I had a blast watching the game last night. And I’m rooting for Vancouver. But c’maaaannnn, who doesn’t like Boston? And Bruin’s goalie Tim Thomas is a terrific bodychecker. Also, nice to see Winnipeg’s new owners cracking down on scumbags who bought season tickets for the unnamed* team just to resell them at massively inflated prices.

6 HEADLINE OF THE DAY “Federal Conservatives’ website hacked, reports of Harper choking on hash brown false”. Someone at the Toronto Star is scribbling good display copy.

BONUS VIDEO: DON’T FEED THE GREAT WHITE SHARKS  Unless you’re really, really good at it. Nicked from Slog but has been online for a couple of years.

*You know what name I suggest? Jets!

Author: Stephen Whitworth

Prairie Dog editor Stephen Whitworth will never, ever pass up a chance to make a Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo pun.