Six In The Morning: A Playground On Fire Is An Apt Metaphor For Northwest Regina

1. NORTHWEST REGINA PLAYGROUND TORCHED At the last prairie dog story meeting, Whitworth learned that I live in McCarthy Park. “We’re too downtown-centric,” he said. “Keep an eye out for stories from the northwest,” he said. The problem is that when you go out into the concrete wasteland suburbs, like the Rochdale or East Vic strips where there are Tim Hortons in such close proximity to one another that they threaten to wrinkle space-time, all you ever get are the usual bored suburban assholes doing bored asshole things. Case in point: some bored assholes in the northwest set the city’s only fully accessible playground on fire yesterday. Thanks a lot, assholes! Way to piss away whatever goodwill we garnered from snagging Brown’s Social House! (via Leader-Post)

2. SLOW DOWN, ECONOMY Looks like the next round of horrible economic apocalypse about to hit the U.S. is likely to affect us too. It’s just “slowed growth” so you can all keep your bunker doors closed for now, but if nothing else it shows that we aren’t impervious to what happens to the States’ economy. (via the Globe & Mail)

3. HA HA ROB FORD IS THE WORST Notorious anti-pork mayor Rob Ford is currently asking the Ontario government to send him money to bail out his stupid and unfeasible subway plan. The lesson we should all collectively take from this is that when people with anger problems campaign on low taxes and “spending cuts” and basically nothing else, maybe we should not elect them, because they are just angry people with bad ideas! This is a good lesson to learn, I think. (via Toronto Star)

4. COMPLETELY INSANE NCAA BOOSTER SCANDAL Seriously, it’s hard to sum this thing up in a single paragraph. Here goes: I was right, it’s too hard and basically impossible, so just go read Yahoo! Sports’  dizzyingly comprehensive report detailing everything booster Nevin Shapiro has done for University of Miami athletes and recruits, from giving players money to buy wheel rims to paying for a stripper’s abortion after a player impregnated her (!!!!!!!!!). It’s a jaw-dropping read and an amazing piece of sports journalism. (via Yahoo! Sports)

5. WISCONSIN’S RECALL ELECTIONS A NEAR-MISS Remember the whole Scott Walker anti-union brouhaha from Wisconsin earlier this year? The state recently held a bunch of state Senate recall elections and voted out two Republicans. Unfortunately for union members, the middle class, teachers, and basically anybody who isn’t a super-rich friend of Scott Walker, that’s still one short of state Senate control. On the other hand, one of the sitting Republican state senators voted against Walker’s cartoon supervillain-esque union-busting measures, meaning that maybe if something like that came up again Walker might get defeated and take out his rage on another picture of poor people or something. (via Reuters)

6. KATY PERRY’S TEENAGE DREAM TIES THRILLER FOR MOST NUMBER ONE HITS FROM THE SAME RECORD (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻ (via Vulture)

To make up for that news about Katy Perry, here is a brand-new video from Canada’s own charming guitar-pop hero, Shotgun Jimmie.

Author: John Cameron

John Cameron is a freelance journalist and occasional writer from Regina, Saskatchewan. He was the editor-in-chief of the Carillon, the University of Regina student newspaper, from 2010 to 2012. You can find more of his work in the Trash folder of several prominent national magazine editors' inboxes.

10 thoughts on “Six In The Morning: A Playground On Fire Is An Apt Metaphor For Northwest Regina”

  1. I don’t know whom to root for in that music scenario: the vapid ex-Christian spawn of focus groups and avatar of pointless titillation, or the pedophile junkie who drank red wine from Coke cans and called it Jesus juice. So many choices!

  2. “concrete wasteland”,”usual bored suburban assholes doing bored asshole things”?

    Sorry, not everybody can live downtown in the mostly overpriced, “vintage” apartments or houses offered there. The basically non-existent shopping (overpriced when available) and attractions are pretty appealing, but I’ll pass. Downtown areas are usually pretty cool, ex. in Toronto/Vancover/Montreal, but it seems like many PD writers/readers and general downtowners think they are living there, not in Regina’s tiny “downtown.” And then when a new grocery store, library or condo tower is finally planned or in development, it’s bemoaned as ugly, “big-boxish”, or unforgivably replacing such historic landmarks as the Plains Hotel. Are you kidding? If that crappy Safeway façade is considered a landmark, well, that’s just plain sad.

    There also seems to be a lot of stories about bored downtown assholes too available too, ex. vandalism on the new structures by Vic Park. Assholes abound everywhere, not just in the unholy ‘Burbs. All in all PD exists to provide an alternative viewpoint, keep on keeping on, but the downtowncentricity is a little ridiculous sometimes.

  3. Last post was a little harsh/inaccurate. There are some restaurants, pubs, shops etc. downtown that I do check out. Point is downtown is not some utopia, while any other area is shiet.

  4. I sort of agree with the downtown cocentricness.
    My neighbour-hood is pretty cool ,for now, but is going to lose some face, 3-8 years from now.
    If Regina had any DT focus, it wouldn’t have allowed a movie theatre to become a liquor store, a big Insurance co. building, ( they coulda built around the Capitol ). I’m happy that it’s not too tall.
    Man that was a beauty of a theatre. With that monster sized screen. 52″? How about 52×16 Feet! I’m guessing, it was big.

    I hope the Plains glass ( Albert St. side) ,is saved and donated to witchever gallery,along with the weather tower.

    How does a DT core get bigger if there is nowhere for ALL income levels to live?

  5. Apartment building,
    and Whyn not build on the Westside of the “semi-train superstore hub ” for workers,they could walk to their place of employment too.

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