1 DROP THE VEGETABLES AND COME WITH US MA’AM. A woman in Michigan may end up with a jail sentence for growing vegetables in her front yard.
2 VISIT BEAUTIFUL WISCONSIN, THE SLAVERY STATE. Remember all those protests against Wisconsin governor Scott Walker and the extreme anti-labour laws he was passing? Well, the laws are here now and unions can’t do a thing about governments using inmates as unpaid labour. Looks like it’s better for your resume to get arrested than join a union.
3 ADAM CAN’T SMILE AT STEVE. I’m just going to let you look at this image from a Christian dating site for a while.
4 HEY WORLD, HERE’S THAT NEW YES ALBUM YOU’VE BEEN WAITING FOR. Or not!
5 MUMBAI GETS EXPLODEY. The latest news: three killed, 25 injured in a series of explosions during rush hour in Mumbai. No one has claimed responsibility for the blasts yet.
6 REGRETTABLY GENERIC HEADLINE ABOUT GENITAL AMPUTATION. Maybe someday we’ll live in a world where a news item with the title “U.S. Woman Cuts off Husband’s Penis” will be prefaced with the words “In a startlingly unusual act…” but it looks like this is just another day in the Great 48 Below Us.