Six In The Morning: It’s Morning Somewhere Edition

DIANA THE REVENANT. Newsweek decided to spice up their cover by Photoshopping a digitally aged version of Diana Spencer next to Kate Middleton. Tina Brown defended the decision by explaining, “I am a ghoul from the planet Zoig who still has yet to learn your ways, O Earth We wanted to bring the memory of Diana alive in a vivid image that transcends time and reflects my piece.” Somehow they made her look more like a mummy than a woman in her fifties. My advice: put a cool damp cloth next to your bedside tonight. You’ll need it when the nightmares jolt you awake.

cover of newsweek with kate middleton and a photoshopped diana spencer

THE MENSTRUATING RACISTS. A recent study indicates that women’s racial biases may be influenced by their menstrual cycle. I have nothing witty to say about this, but the study confirms my belief that WOMEN ARE RACISTS.

CANADA POST EMPLOYEES ARE MAKING THEIR ROUNDS. Did you see them? I went for a walk this morning and personally witnessed two (2) mail deliverers. I said hello to both of them and may have even said “Yay, mail delivery!” I’m thinking of putting a cupcake in my mailbox for the postal guy. And maybe a small note to alert him to the presence of baked goods. Of course, the employees’ union is contesting the back-to-work legislation, but we’ll still be getting mail in the meantime. So be nice to your postal people. By the way, Tangerine is celebrating its first (1st) birthday (brthdy) today! Go on down and get a free cupcake.

GOOGLE GIVES GOODS ON GOVERNMENT. Google’s semi-annual transparency report has been released. The report charts data queries and takedown requests from governments around the world. Between July and December of 2010, Google received 38 queries for user data from the government of Canada and seven takedown requests of “defamatory” material. There’s not much data on the individual requests, but you can visit their site for a bit of detail and analysis.

VAMPIRE WEEKEND WAS RIGHT. Even the Oxford Writing and Style Guide has given up on the Oxford comma. It’s over, folks. Send your grammarians home and crack open the good liquor. They’ve plagued us long enough.

WE’VE GOT A JAMBOREE COMING, SO LET’S GET THIS PLACE CLEANED UP. Saskatchewan’s government, that collection of used car salesmen and backwoods evangelists, has put up $1.5 million in flood relief to help ensure that the Craven Country Jamboree can go as planned this summer. People have expressed their disappointment over the appearance that the government seems more willing to prop up a tourist attraction than help out homeowners and local businesses, but Brad Wall appeared to them in their dreams and explained that they weren’t Sugarland.

Author: Aidan Morgan

Aidan is a very serious man who's saving up for a nice dignified pipe. Then we'll see who's laughing.

7 thoughts on “Six In The Morning: It’s Morning Somewhere Edition”

  1. I’m with Collette re: the comma. And, although the Newsweek photoshop job smacked of “let’s do this because we can, and f#^k good taste and appropriateness”, the saying is, and it’s on the mark, that at 50 you have the face you deserve. The projected image isn’t half bad. May you all fare so well.

  2. I think I magnanimously let Aidan keep a couple of his Oxford commas in the current issue (which I have — one of only three or four copies of in Regina at the moment!). But I don’t use that thing.

    On a totally unrelated note, Collette and Barb will probably be pleased to know that clever Fred ate six small mice tonight. Hopefully he’ll stop trying to eat my fingers now… he’s been bitey lately.

  3. I just wanted to chime in and say that this is a stellar “Top 6”. Honestly, I clicked on every link (except the Google thing). Very nice and, may I add, you’ve used commas to great effect. Personally, I’m not ready to give up the Oxford comma. “And” is not a comma, nor does it have one built in. I don’t care what they say.

  4. I usually drop me Oxford commas in me Twitter posts, but otherwise Oxford commas are spot on.

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