1 TSE SPLAT-O-RAMA The Toronto stock market trips, falls and bloodies its nose thanks to the clusterfuckery of U.S. politics combined with the brainless shenanigans of ratings agencies. Hey let’s blame Obama, he’s black.
2 RIOTING CATCHES ON AS A FUN THING TO DO They’re still running amok in London. Wait, what was it that Conway was saying about youth riots recently? Could our crazy old left-wing radical actually be on to something?
3 SAUDI ARABIA CONDEMNS SYRIA Oh, now that’s just rich coming from the magic kingdom of behead-o-land, where men are men and women aren’t allowed to drive. (Not that Syria doesn’t invite condemnation, mind you.)
4 FEARLESS LEADER MAKES PACTS WITH BRAZIL All for the benefit of
corporate Canada ordinary Canadians, no doubt.
5 CONSERVATIVES DOWN, NDP DOWN, LIBERALS UP That’s what new polls say. Kinda too late since we (by which I mean other people) elected the most potentially destructive PM of my lifetime to a majority. Too bad about the NDP though. A lot of Canadians really dislike those alleged separatists.
Oh come on. I have to tell you what a “furry” is? Fine.
Disappointment alert: that last video has one measly Klingon. Boo.