1 BIG BROTHER CAN READ YOUR MEDICAL RECORDS AND ACCESS YOUR BANK ACCOUNT The United States and Great Britain have completely compromised Internet security. U.S. President Barack Obama says don’t worry, they won’t abuse this gigantic power, it will all be okay.
3 STANDARDIZED TESTING SHALL BE IMPLEMENTED IN SASKATCHEWAN SCHOOLS! WE’RE NOT KIDDING! Note: there may be some delays.
4 ALSO, THE GOVERNMENT IS SCREWING AROUND WITH EDUCATIONAL ASSISTANTS The parent of a special needs child does not like the fact that her daughter will now have four rotating EAs instead of one dedicated EA. Well, that’s what happens when we elect provincial governments with a weak and extremely outdated understanding of how public education works. UPDATE: Commentator Tim points out that the policy was reversed. Good!
5 GANG MEMBER SENTENCED Just a horrible story. Hey, criminal organizations: don’t create a culture where your young members think stabbing random civilians for wearing the wrong colour is a good idea. Crime is about making money. There’s no money in bad PR. While we’re on the topic of youth crime, programs like this one focussed on at-risk youth are good ideas.
6 THE U.S. AND RUSSIA CAN’T AGREE ON THE WISDOM OF BOMBING SYRIA Story here. Maybe the Americans shouldn’t start bombing and the Russians shouldn’t back an evil regime. Oh wait, Putin says he’ll totally aid the Assad regime if the U.S. launches a strike. Putin is such an asshole.
BONUS NEWS: Holy shit, buses will be free on Fridays in Regina this month? That’s a great idea! Also, there’s going to be a provincial election in Nova Scotia; Quebec needs to knock off its anti-Sikh bullshit; there are no suitable jobs for more than seven out of 10 Canadians; a Stoner killed a grizzly bear; George Zimmerman’s wife wants a divorce from the not-a-murderer; here’s an article with a hilarious headline; Hitler’s last living bodyguard died and Ariel Castro killed himself in prison way earlier this week but we never blogged about it so I am now and here’s the latest.
AUSTRALIAN PRIME MINISTER KEVIN RUDD SHOWS WHAT CHRISTIANITY SHOULD LOOK LIKE I could not love Rudd’s defence of same-sex marriage against some bigoted idiot pastor any more.