1 GOOD OL’ STABLE, RELIABLE RESOURCE ECONOMY PotashCorp cuts 1,045 jobs. Roughly 440 Saskatchewan jobs went kerblooey and multimillionaire CEO Bill “philosophy of failure” and “gospel of envy” Doyle feels bad for them. “But you know,” I imagine he said, “corporations don’t exist to create jobs.”
2 WILL IT HELP IF I SPEAK SLOWLY? Guardian editor in chief Alan Rusbridger patiently tells British MPs why reporting on an out-of-control spy agencies is essential.
4 I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE NICE TO THE HELL-BOUND INFIDELS Manitoba Conservative leader Brian Pallister’s political opponents are “torquing” his perfectly reasonable holiday greetings just to make him look bad. I feel his pain. I get in trouble every single time I try to spread cheer to all the superstitious mystics who believe in magical babies.
5 FIRST TIME FOR EVERYTHING Icelandic police shot and killed an armed man who was shooting at them. It’s the first time police have killed someone in Iceland. Ever.
6 THE MALE PILL It could happen.
BONUS NEWS ITEM ALPHA Detroit is eligible for bankruptcy protection. Hopefully this will teach freeloading pensioners a lesson: next time don’t grow old and retire, you bums.
BONUS NEWS ITEM BETA A Tory MP tabled a private member’s bill to take power away from party leaders such as, for example, Imperious Leader Stephen Harper.
WHAT’S PHISH UP TO THESE DAYS? Holy smokes, the psychedelic jam overlords just marked 30 years of electric noodling! Phish played its first gig under the name Blackwoods Convention on Dec. 2, 1983. Time flies when you’re playing scales. Here’s my favourite Phish song, “Chalk Dust Torture”.