Six In The Morning: Rednecks, Teabaggers, Starvation, Vonnegut Gets Banned, Plaza Gets Open!

1 DEBT CEILING ARGLE BARGLE The Republican’s anti-tax, anti-government, pro-liberty (which means legal assault weapons and illegal abortion) Tea Party faction continues to sabotage their own political party (sounds like Karma to me) and hold the global economy hostage. I suggest the first wave of government shutdowns be directed to Tea Party congressional districts. But wait!!! They’re still negotiating! Maybe they WILL craft a plan that can pass Congress and then die in the Senate. Meanwhile, U.S. president Barack Obama says there are solutions to the de3adlock but “we are almost out of time.” Also, Apple literally has more money in the bank than the United States. Uh oh.

2 PLACES WHERE THEY DON’T CARE ABOUT THE U.S. DEBT CEILING Somalia, Afghanistan, Syria,

3 NOT THEIR FAULT The federal government won’t be liable for damages in lawsuits against tobacco companies. Also, Canada’s economy is shrinking, boo.

4 I AM SIMPLY SHOCKED Saskatchewan’s rate of ATV injuries is double the national average. Will I get in trouble if I suggest that is a hilariously rednecky statistic? “That’s funny, right?” I ask our designer. “No, it sucks,” he says. Awesome Klassen is a better human being than I am.

5 SAN FRANCISCO WON’T PUT CIRCUMCISION BAN ON THE BALLOT AND SOME IDIOTIC SCHOOL IN THE BULLSHIT STATE OF MISSOURI BANS KURT VONNEGUT”S SLAUGHTERHOUSE FIVE Okay then. But male circumcision is still kinda evil. Also, Missouri sucks. What a stupid place.

6 THE PLAZA IS PARTLY OPEN! And we have photographic evidence, thanks to Awesome Klassen! Behold!

Author: Stephen Whitworth

Prairie Dog editor Stephen Whitworth will never, ever pass up a chance to make a Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo pun.

12 thoughts on “Six In The Morning: Rednecks, Teabaggers, Starvation, Vonnegut Gets Banned, Plaza Gets Open!”

  1. Hey! Don’t blast the whole state for the wrongheadedness of a management professor at Missouri State University and the even worse wrongheadedness of the local school district superintendent.

  2. Re. the plaza: Looks like they put your light rail tracks in wrong. But hey, what do you expect in Regina?

  3. That was pretty funny, Talbot.

    I haven’t walked out there yet but the two-tone paving stones look really nice in Awesome Klassen’s photo.

  4. That was also funny. We’re all in good moods today! Perhaps because it’s BEAUTIFUL OUTSIDE? Holy mackerel.

  5. Right On! A new permanent slalom course for bicycles! Anybody wanna race?

    I prefer Rusty Pole Plaza.

  6. Actually, it looks pretty nice. I like rusty poles. We’re all just jealous here in Saskatoon, since anything transit-related is under attack.

  7. Anyone that smokes is responible for themselves, Feds should not be on the hook.Bad chices,bad conequences.I smoke.

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