1 CANADA WILL SPEND 16 BILLION ON HIGH-TECH FIGHTER PLANES  WE DON’T NEED Because Conservatives have small penises and they’re compensating. (Globe And Mail).

2 TORY PUBLIC SAFETY MINISTER BEHIND G20 DEBACLE DOESN’T DECLARE PENSION AS REQUIRED BY THE LAW HE SIGNED Read all about it. This by the way is a family-values guy who is all judgemental about who other people have sex with yet got his mistress pregnant. (Winnipeg Free Press, Canada.com)

3 THE CONSERVATIVES CHANGED THE CENSUS WHEN I WASN’T LOOKING. THE CHANGES ARE VERY, VERY BAD. Read here. (CBC) Executive summary: In 2011, filling out the long form census will be voluntary, not mandatory. This will reduce the statistical facts available to government and the public. Without facts you can’t make fact-based decisions in the name of the public good. And when bastard politicians pull their public policy out of their asses you can’t argue with th–aha. Of course.

4 THIS IS YESTERDAY’S NEWS BUT WE NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT IT Because my small army of dedicated volunteer bloggers have, you know, lives and stuff. Right, anyway: yesterday the Catholic Church tacitly equated ordaining women priests with child abuse (The Guardian). As some of the greatest minds of western civilization have said for millenia: the Roman Catholic Church is sure fucked sometimes.

5 CONRAD BLACK SUED FOR BACK TAXES The incarcerated media mogul has problems, boo fucking hoo. (Toronto Star)

6 LET’S END THIS WEEK ON ON A GOOD NOTE For the moment, no oil is gushing into the Gulf Of Mexico (BBC).