Six In The Morning: Smash & Splash

1 THE EARTH SHUDDERS Last night Japan was waled on by a massive earthquake: the thing was magnitude 8.9, the biggest since the country began keeping scores. One report says 88 people are confirmed dead but that number’s going to go up. The quake has launched tsunamis and various coastline areas, including British Columbia, are on alert.

Here’s a report from the Guardian that describes the scene: “You have got these concrete buildings and it’s as if they are made of jelly. It’s in your mind that the building could collapse at any moment. Friends who were in skyscrapers said being on higher floors was terrifying because they were swaying so much.”

Yikes.

Here’s video from CNN:

Finally, a nuclear emergency has been declared because apparently reactors and earthquakes don’t mix. No one could have predicted.

2 IS GADDIFI WINNING? The dictator’s forces are hitting back hard against the rebels trying to force him out of power. Meanwhile the United States director of intelligence (insert joke here) says Muammar Gaddfi will “prevail”. Hmm.  Not sure that Europe will be pleased with that assessment.

3 MEANWHILE IN SAUDI ARABIA The region’s richest country with maybe its bullshittiest leadership is having some pro-democracy protests of it’s own but that’s okay because the fuckers running the country had them shot.

4 MEANWHILE IN CANADA So those stupid first-strike F-35 planes that were $8 billion, okay make that $16 billion with maintenance costs? Nope. The Parliamentary budget officer says we’re looking at $30 effing billion dollars. The Conservatives either can’t budget or are a pack of scheming, lowballing liars I guess (or am I missing an option?)

Do you have any idea what could be done with that kind of money? Well, my calculator says we could build 69 domed stadiums in Regina at $430 million a pop. On the plus side, if we do get these planes Russia will think twice about invading us over the north pole with conventional forces, and I know we’re constantly worried about that scenario.

5 MEANWHILE IN MADISON Enemies of Wisconsin’s sociopath union-busting government are calling for boycotts of Republican contributors. Good. And once again, you can support Wisconsin’s embattled unions by clicking here.

6 MEANWHILE ON ICE Winnipeg’s business community claims it’s got money to spend on things like http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/breakingnews/business-anxious-for-nhl-117787728.html. I have a feeling we’ll just see about that in a few months. From the Regina perspective, a six-hour drive is waaay better than the eight or nine hour drive to Calgary. And I suspect Winnipeg still has better restaurants. Still, I hope the city knows what it’s getting into…

Author: Stephen Whitworth

Prairie Dog editor Stephen Whitworth will never, ever pass up a chance to make a Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo pun.