6-in-the-morning1 THAT WACKY MAYOR Newly released documents suggest Toronto phenomenon Rob Ford might have used heroin, and there might be photos of it, and Ford might have offered to trade $5,000 and a car for the famous crack tape, and that a murdered dealer might have had the phone with the crack tape, and Ford might force fired employees to do a “walk of shame”. “Number one, that’s an outright lie and number two, you can talk to my lawyers about it,” says Ford.

2 SPEAKING OF COCAINE Beautiful and awesome celebrity chef Nigella Lawson admits using cocaine. I’m desperately hoping this means she’ll run for mayor of Toronto.

3 TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE? Pope Francis says the Vatican will create a special committee to fight child abuse, but it also isn’t fully cooperating with a UN investigation.

4 MURRAY MANDRYK DOESN’T SEEM TO THINK MUCH OF POTASH CORP CEO BILL DOYLE, EITHER I missed this yesterday (I missed most of yesterday, yesterday) but Mandryk had an interesting column on potash sector layoffs.

5 RUSSIA AND CANADA ARGUE ABOUT WHO SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO FUCK UP THE NORTH POLE SEABED AND THE PLANETARY CLIMATE Ugh.

6 TRIPPY Motorists can run power cords to their cars across city sidewalks again. Thank god.

LOOK, IT’S ANOTHER SPIDER-MAN MOVIE The new trailer looks alright, I s’pose. The last two movies were duds so it’d be nice if Sony got Spidey back on track.