1 KEEPING IT QUIET The CBC has an investigative report into sexual abuse lawsuits against the Boy Scouts of Canada, which is getting some victims to sign confidentiality agreements.

2 ALSO, WINGS EXTRA Apparently Canada’s really expensive new jet planes won’t be delivered with arctic-ready communications. Also, Canada makes it a priority to spend up to $30 billion on fancy army planes while our environment rots, child poverty soars, students graduate with $25K debt loads and we have no universal daycare and Saskatchewan keeps voting for Conservatives so whatever. Hey, let’s listen to talk radio and make fun of protesters in tents.

3 THIS WEEK IN OTTAWA Legislation might be introduced to give more seats to more-populated provinces. As it stands, a Saskatchewanian’s vote is worth 1.7 times an Ontario resident’s vote.

4 CONSERVATIVE SUPPORTERS THROW BUCKETS OF MONEY AT THEIR FAVOURITE AWFUL POLITICAL PARTY Well, when one has money, one may use it to grease one’s favourite weasels.

5 CREDIT CARD COMPANIES ARE STRANGLING WIKILEAKS I’m so glad that our financial institutions are out there protecting us from state secrets.

6 AND THERE WAS AWFULNESS IN TURKEY Hundreds are dead and nearly 1,000 buildings collapsed after a major earthquake in Eastern Turkey. Notable sentence: “Turkish seismologist Polat Gulkan told the BBC that building regulations were often ignored in Turkey.”

WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAPPY NEWS. MAYBE THIS WILL CHEER US UP The second trailer for the new Harold and Kumar movie has nudity, swearing, Plasticine genitalia, gushing head wounds and drug use by toddlers. Enjoy.