Six In The Morning: The Sweet, Sweet Taste Of Victory

1 KNOCK IT DOWN The Black Building, once home to 46 affordable rental units, was demolished yesterday. Dechene has the story. Make sure you read the comments–they’re looking lively.

2 CUT, CUT, CUT The cash-strapped Elizabeth Fry Society, which helps women who are going through the criminal justice system, has put most of its programs on hold to get ready for a busy future. Busy future? Of course — thanks to the Conservatives’ brainless new crime laws there’s going to be more women in prison.

3 A MIGHTY MEETING Speaking of our awesome “tough on crime” prime minister, Stephen Harper meets today with Barack Obama and Felipe Calderon. And they might just chat about the war on drugs, which everyone who’s not a total moron realizes is a blood-soaked failure. Maybe the Mexican PM will give Obama and Harper a slide show of severed heads and disemboweled corpses. What? Too harsh? Tell it to the families of decapitated bloggers.

4 LOOKING FOR A JOB? Bad news: you’ll soon have 19,200 competitors, all of ‘em with strong resumes. Don’t thank your pink-slip-happy prime minister, he’s doing it all for you.

5 RAPID FIRE: STC PRICE HIKE! TIM HORTONS LINE-UPS! NEW NEWSPAPERS IN REGINA! LADY ATHLETES IN THEIR UNDERWEAR! WOOF! So, STC fares are going up! Saskatoon is agitated! There’s a new daily paper in Regina! Women who want to play football must take their clothes off! Hey, how about those Sheepdogs?

6 BACK IN CANADA A Canadian farmer is back in his country after a year in a Lebanese jail for allegedly forging potatoes (or something like that). His sister says the federal government didn’t do enough to get him home.

BONUS: WHO WON HIS HOCKEY POOL YESTERDAY? UH HUH, UH HUH First overall in the regular season and playoff champ to boot! Took six freaking years for the mighty Ice Octopi to win the annual, 10-player Crisis On Infinite Rinks pool, but then again, I used to think Nikolai Zherdev was an NHL-calibre player. I’d like to thank Sidney Crosby, James Neal, Rick Nash, Valtteri Filppula, Jaimie Benn, Ryan Nugent-Hopkins, Johan Franzen, Alexander Semin (thanks for dropping those two, Greg!), Patrice Bergeron, T.J. Oshie, Alex Pietrangelo, Brent Burns, Jack Johnson, Dan Hamuis, Jonathan Quick, Cory Schneider, Ryan Miller and Marc-Andre Fleury (I forgive you for all of last week, Marc!). And the guest appearance by Alex Radulov was fun, too. Here, have some hockey.

About Stephen Whitworth

Stephen Whitworth is a life-long fan of newspapers and alternative media who got his start in the student press a hundred years ago. He moved to Regina in the fall of 1998 and Prairie Dog recklessly hired him nine months later. It was a terrible mistake and the publication deeply regrets its inability to get rid of him. When Whitworth’s not adding typos to the hard work of Prairie Dog’s many terrific writers, writing hilarious (to him) headlines and finding inventive new ways to make the paper late for its bi-weekly press deadline, he enjoys reading magazines, newspapers and alternative comics, listening to music, playing board games, and drinking and eating. He has a cat and seven pet snakes.

6 Responses to Six In The Morning: The Sweet, Sweet Taste Of Victory

  1. Timmy April 2, 2012 at 12:10 pm #

    Love Metro News!

  2. anonymusses April 2, 2012 at 12:29 pm #

    Just canned Metro’s Regina online page. Although I welcome another paper to this market, I’m confused as to its actual local physical reporting presence. I read an article by Alex Boutilier, who appears to be based with Metro Halifax, in which he refers to the Saskatchewan town of “Dundurran”. (Although I do see that Metro Saskatoon’s Morgan Modjeski appears to actually be based in Saskatoon.)

  3. Baby with a Blowtorch April 2, 2012 at 12:53 pm #

    The news about the farmer returning to Canada, and the lack of help given to him by the Canadian – sorry, HARPER – government needs to be promoted more widely. The family and the lawyer both went out of their way to thank everyone except the HARPER government. They even thanked the Lebanese government for its actions.

  4. Ron April 2, 2012 at 9:33 pm #

    Ya gotta love Tony Granato for wanting to keep hockey interesting to watch again.

    Are the “Broad St. Bullies” back? I hope so.

    OOOHH! Sidney got hit from behind in the middle of the rink…fight!!
    If #87 isn’t really in game shape anymore, & all of his fans think that every time he gets bumped hard there should be an infraction called,…mabye he should retire. ( for the time being, and then do a Lemieux ).

    I would to see a Canucks vs. Kings for the West final!

  5. Ron April 2, 2012 at 9:40 pm #

    5.
    I told ya…

    http://www.prairiedogmag.com/?p=36577

  6. brian mouland April 3, 2012 at 9:57 am #

    NDP complains CPC cant balance the budget and now complains about cuts. Burning the candle at both ends,eh

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