Six In The Morning: There’s An Election Today?

6 in the MorningRegina, we’re heading to the polls today. Civic politics has infiltrated our lives for the better part of a year and today we will have a new mayor, some new city councillors and some new faces on the school boards. It makes me feel all tingly but that’s probably just a caffeine craving. So before you vote, here are some stories that aren’t about the election.

1 NOT JUST ENGLISH Statistics Canada released data focused on language from the 2011 census. One in five Canadians reported speaking a language other than English at home and 191 distinct languages were recognized. Though bilingualism has gone up marginally, French has slightly declined. This data was, however, compiled before the Canadian flag was taken down from the Quebec National Assembly.

2 CONRAD BLACK PRACTICES RESTRAINT He’s so patient! He didn’t “smash in” the face of that “priggish” and “gullible British fool” of a journalist who asked Black about being a “criminal” because of those troublesome fraud and obstruction convictions from 2007. Conrad Black is just trying to do a media circuit to promote his book, how dare anyone ask him about those ethical mistakes he still denies making.

3 PRETTY SURE AMERICANS DIDN’T SHOOT THAT GIRL Malala Yousafzai was a Pakistani student that was attacked by the Taliban after speaking out against the group for denying girls access to education. Apparently people in Pakistan think that the Americans attacked her to raise support for drone strikes and make the Taliban look really bad. Well the Taliban took credit for shooting. Amazingly, the 15-year-old is able to stand again.

4 STACKS ON STACKS ON STACKS Our federal government spends mad dollars but doesn’t keep track much. This is a real sentence out of that story: “the Department of Finance Canada often does not take into account the impact of tens of billions of dollars of spending and tax measures on the government’s long-term fiscal sustainability.” What problems could possibly arise from spending money and not keeping track?

5 WE’LL BE FAT IF WE WANT Ontario doctors are taking the war to junk food’s door – or, packaging, rather. Apparently the fatty foods that are causing obesity need be treated like cigarettes and therefore have massive warnings labels showing us and telling us how dumb we are for doing this to our poor bodies. Even fruit juice is getting lumped in with all the evil foods. Will be interesting to see if this war on Type 2 diabetes will be fought out West as well.

6 MARGARET ATWOOD’S A ZOMBIE Just kidding but she’s apparently been bitten by the zombie craze. Atwood has co-written a zombie novel with British author, Naomi Alderman. The novel will be released chapter by chapter on Wattpad, a story sharing website. The setting for the zombie outbreak is Toronto. I assume the smell of Toronto would stay about the same.

That’s about it for me. There’s an election to cover. Which reminds me that this Chad Novak parody video exists (and has been endorsed by Mr. Novak). Karl Schubach makes a convincing Chad, but the Solstice is sadly missing.

Enjoy your day and some democracy!

3 thoughts on “Six In The Morning: There’s An Election Today?”

  1. I am not sure why anyone would take the time to make this chad video, but I am glad they did.

    Too bad I already voted the exact opposite of how Jim hopson wanted me to. I may have given Chad a chance. Please run again in 2015 Chad.

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