Six In The Morning: War And Peace; Drunks And Crocodiles, And Metric!

6-in-the-morning1 GAZA DAY SIX: 96 PALESTINIANS DEAD And at least 23 were children. Three Israelis have been killed as well. Awful.

2 AND HEY, ONLY 600,000 PEOPLE WERE KILLED ON THE WAY TO PEACE Colombia’s rebel group FARC has declared a ceasefire. They’ve been negotiating a truce with the government for about a month.

3 MEANWHILE IN REGINA A body was found at the CP railyards and the death is considered suspicious; the NDP leadership debate kicked off at the Ramada this weekend; Regina’s mayor wants a meeting with the dastardly RM of Sherwood and Agribition starts today and “it’s not just for farmers”. In fact, “this isn’t your grandpa’s Agribition anymore.”

4 THE GOBLINS ATE THE PONIES A lot of animals died during filming of The Hobbit due to shitty conditions. Hopefully whoever’s responsible will get to enjoy some not-shitty conditions in jail.

5 SANE REPUBLICANS?! Anthopologists have identified pro-same-sex marriage, pro women’s rights members of the Republican party. Unfortunately for Republicans there are many, many more twits like Florida Senator Marco Rubio, who thinks creationism should be taught in schools. (This is also your daily reminder that if you believe the earth is 6,000 years old you are dumb. Please stay away from children — you don’t want to infect them with your stupidity.)

6 “DRUNK MAN IN AUSTRALIA ATTEMPTS TO RIDE CROCODILE” I think this wins the “headline of the day”prize. Then again, maybe not. Is anyone actually surprised that drunk men in Australia climb on 16-foot crocs? Also, hats off to the reporter who got the crocodile’s name (“Fatso”!). Good reporters always get the croc’s name.

METRIC! Pretty good show on Friday! You should’ve been there, Regina. The band played “Black Sheep”, which was a great surprise. All the little Scott Pilgrim fans had nerdgasms.

 

 

Author: Stephen Whitworth

Prairie Dog editor Stephen Whitworth will never, ever pass up a chance to make a Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo pun.

7 thoughts on “Six In The Morning: War And Peace; Drunks And Crocodiles, And Metric!”

  1. My 1st Canadian Western Agribition was in grade 6. I recieved a blue ribbon for a notebook that my teacher,Mrs. Nelson,gave to the CWA.

    The $15 cover charge is a bit steep to look at livestock.

    If you do go, search for the “cowboy sundae”.

  2. I bought a jar of that magic shoe polish at Agribition last year and realized the other day that I’ve used over half of the jar! That’s something I never could have predicted after that cowboy huckster separated me from my money. I’m deeply impressed. Plus there’s that weird park on the exhibition grounds with the creepy fountain surrounded by wrought-iron spikes – always worth a visit.

  3. Oh, and my best memory as a kid was arriving late to the birth of a calf, and watching a cow passing the afterbirth. Our teacher was convinced that it was the calf being born and and stuck to her guns, even when the ‘calf’ turned into a 12 foot long bloody tube as it was being pulled out by the farmer. She narrated the miracle of birth and seeing the legs and the tail and head and everything as we all snickered. As the ‘calf’ got longer and limper, she got more and more adamant that it was a baby.

  4. When I first heard tell of this event, I mistakenly thought the name was “aggrobition”; am glad to have this righted in my mind.

    Carle, entry 2/comment 4: HILARIOUS

  5. An effort to have that fountain turned into the foyer centrepiece of any great new football stadium should be started, if only for the hell of it. Patrons will stream pass, trying not to look, like it was a slightly disabled person struggling on the street or a vagrant sleeping on the sidewalk, and assume it holds significance, and feel good about letting it into the building whether they know why it’s there or not. Pat will be *furious* It will be entertaining.

  6. Re: Fountain…

    Nouveau-riche 40-something farmers from Caronport will encourage their 12-yr-olds not to look at it, for it was clearly beamed into the present from the “old Saskatchewan” and likely contagious… “STAY AWAY” It has no economic or financial value; caring costs time, and time is money.

    In a patriotic ode to no one, they will turn the fountain silver & gold… with the silver tin wrappers of their $4 all-pork Schneider’s franks, and the little yellow discarded packets of moustard, said fountain will become a repository for carnival junk. As fountain water enters the little difficult moustard slit & dilutes itself yellow, the fountain will be declared a blunder, wrapped in a tattered tarp and buried near the sand in a city gravel pit somewhere.

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