Six In The Morning: Welcome To The Budget Edition

1. SO THIS THING HAPPENED YESTERDAY. The Government of Canada Harper Government laid down a budget full of tax credits and assistance for dirt-poor seniors … and the rest of Parliament called shenanigans, with Layton leading the charge. This week is going to be interesting and full of talking heads providing mostly inane speculation posing as analysis. Canadian politics activate! Form of – bullcrap!

2. HEY, SPEAKING OF BUDGETS. The Saskatchewan Party (yours for only $1,000!) is all set to drop its budget, which is probably going to contain good economic news. Let’s hope our potash revenues don’t hear about this.

3. FINALLY, A USE FOR THOSE ISLANDS. In the summer of 1986 I spent an afternoon on Center Island in Lake Ontario, and it was a thrillingly cheap parade of ginned-up entertainment and shabby boardwalk amusements. I’ve always thought that the entire area should be coated in polyurethane and left as a monument to tackiness. Well, Toronto City Councillor Giorgio Mammoliti has proposed that the Toronto Islands, right next to Center Island, should be converted into a red light district. It would probably work, as long as they kept the waffle cone stand.

4. GEEZ, ANYONE CAN BOMB THE HELL OUT OF LIBYA THESE DAYS. Just kidding! You have to belong to a military force attached to a nation-state before you can enforce the no-fly zone over Libya (They’re not letting bloggers fly bombers, it turns out). Canadian forces have participated in zone enforcement missions over the last two days. A combat (ie. bomb dropping) mission involving Canadian planes was aborted after it was determined that there would be too much collateral damage (ie. civilians and their civilian-y infrastructure).

5. DON’T DRINK THE WATER. Radioactive levels in Tokyo drinking water have turned out to have twice the radioactivity considered safe for infants. Fortunately, the radioactive iodine in the water has an extremely short half-life. Unfortunately, it causes cancer.

6. MOOSE JAW PHARMACY GETS ROBBED, KNIFE-STYLE. A man with a knife and delicious baklava a balaclava entered a Moose Jaw pharmacy and made off with “a small amount of drugs”. He better not have taken any of the good drugs. Like Immodium and Excedrin. Or that contact lens solution I use. I hear that stuff is drugs. Drugs for your corrective eyewear, amirite? God I’m so boring and alone.

Author: Aidan Morgan

Aidan is a very serious man who's saving up for a nice dignified pipe. Then we'll see who's laughing.