Six In The Morning: WCB, SIAST, Opposite Kidnapping, Gay Snakes

1 THE MAJORITY OF FARMERS WANT THE WHEAT BOARD MONOPOLY They voted and the results are in. Sixty-Two per cent of wheat farmers support keeping the monopoly (only 51 per cent of barley farmers though). Conservative agriculture minister Gerry Ritz says the CWB’s monopoly will be eliminated regardless. That’s fair. The federal Conservatives won a majority government — and the privilege to do whatever they want — with almost 40 per cent of the vote.

2 PARENTS ASK KIDNAPPER TO RETURN CHILD, KIDNAPPER OBLIGES, EVERYONE’S HAPPY BUT CONFUSED The head of America’s centre for missing children says the Kienan Hebert abduction is unique.

3 EVERYONE NEEDS CLASSES School is back in session at SIAST after the union for striking instructors and other workers signed a mediation agreement with the college. Workers went on strike after more than two years without a contract. More here.

4 NDP SUPPORT RISES, ALSO BRIAN TOPP IS RUNNING FOR PARTY LEADER Read about the first thing here and the second thing here. If Topp is serious he needs a better, way-shorter haircut. He looks a little slobby. The NDP needs to be more stylish than the Conservatives. Seriously.

5 IS GREECE ABOUT TO DEFAULT ON ITS DEBT? The stock market is apparently worried about it.

6 I THOUGHT NEW YORKERS WEREN’T AS STUPID AS TEXANS. I GUESS I MIGHT’VE BEEN WRONG A Republican candidate is leading in polls in a special election for Anthony “wienergate” Weiner’s seat. Apparently Catholic and Jewish voters are perturbed. Story here. If the U.S. elects a Republican president next year, my head’s going to ‘splode.

WONDERING ABOUT MY LATE-NIGHT INTERNET HABITS? I’m currently obsessed with the Yootubes of Cute Gay Jason because I love snakes and he’s got like 30 of ’em. His videos are exactly what you’d expect from a guy who calls himself Cute Gay Jason who owns 30 snakes. I’m weird. I’m sorry.

Author: Stephen Whitworth

Prairie Dog editor Stephen Whitworth will never, ever pass up a chance to make a Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo pun.