Six In The Morning: Wiki Books And Russian Supervillians

1 JULIAN ASSANGE BOOK DEAL The Wikileaks founder inks a £1 million book deal with Knopf and British publisher Canongate to cover his rising legal costs. from The Guardian: “I don’t want to write this book, but I have to. I have already spent £200,000 for legal costs and I need to defend myself and to keep WikiLeaks afloat.” That’ll happen when your legal organization is financially strangled by Mastercard, Visa, Paypal and the Bank of America.

2 FAMILY SAFE, HOUSE SHAKEN Three Reginans — two adults and a four-year-old girl — are safe after their north Regina home blew up yesterday, though the youngest  has leg injuries.

3 STORM’S A-COMING A massive storm is set to whack Atlantic Canada. Up to 30 centimetres of snow and wind gusts of up to 130 km/hour are expected.

4 ALSO IN MARITIMES NEWS A University Of Moncton public administration prof says that a new era of downsizing could cause social tensions to rise. No shit, Sherlock. Canadians don’t like downsized public sectors. Alas, our leaders keep telling us we always need tax cuts to stay competitive. I suspect Canadians would be more amenable to tax realism if business groups weren’t always stroking the public’s shaft about how tax cuts magically make all our lives better. Yeah, that’s why the gap between the rich and the rest of us keeps widening.

5 RUSSIAN TYCOON FOUND GUILTY Read all about it. Well, almost all about it — the article doesn’t say this but my theory — which is mine, invented by me — is that Mikhail Khodorkovsky was apprehended by a dashing British secret agent following a car/boat/train chase involving a helicopter, a squad of riflemen on skis and a beautiful double agent in an alligator-skin bikini. Isn’t that what always happens with Russian supervillians?

6 I’M REALLY STARTING TO FEEL BAD FOR THE OTHER TEAMS Canada bashes Russia 6-3 at the world junior hockey championship. Up next is the Czech Republic. Most importantly, Columbus Blue Jacket prospect Ryan Johansen scored the winning goal in the third period. Also I got a Columbus Blue Jackets jersey for Christmas. Columbus is my favourite NHL team. Jackets Jackets Jackets! True story: the team has a mascot that looks like a dink. I bet you did not know that.

Annnd that’s it for today. I’ll talk to you loyal readers later this week — right now there’s a press  deadline standing behind me, punching my neck and it won’t stop until I pay attention to it. Deadlines suck that way. Ow! It just bit my ear!

Author: Stephen Whitworth

Prairie Dog editor Stephen Whitworth will never, ever pass up a chance to make a Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo pun.