2 TAKE A WILD GUESS WHO THE CANADIAN PRESS NEWS-MAKER OF THE YEAR IS? It couldn’t be anyone else.
3 WHAT’S NEXT FOR PROSTITUTION LAWS? Can our federal government made of clueless men who think we live in an imaginary 1950s world that never actually existed develop practical legislation to govern the sex trade? Bwah ha ha, good one.
4 LET THE RIOT RAGE The last incarcerated member of the band Pussy Riot has been released thanks to the Russian government’s face-saving amnesty law. Russia would’ve got the poop kicked out of its reputation if these high-profile dissidents had remained in jail during the Olympics.
5 SPEAKING OF RUSSIA The inventor of the AK-47 passed away at the venerable age of 94.
6 IS PEDOPHILIA A SEXUAL ORIENTATION? Sounds like “yup”. Makes sense, actually. No one would ever choose to be sexually attracted to children. If you’re sexually attracted to children your choices are lifetime celibacy or acting on your urges and committing monstrous evil.
MORE ANTI-TRUCK BIGOTRY If you only see one terrible country music video this year, make it this one. It was put together by Entertainment Weekly’s Grady Smith. If watching this doesn’t fill you with hatred and revulsion, you’re probably a bro. A terrible, horrible bro.