They’re Calling It The “Rob Ford Crackstarter”

This crazy thing keeps getting crazier. From Gawker:

As you may have heard, Rob Ford, the mayor of Toronto, smokes crack cocaine. We’ve seen a video of him smoking crack cocaine, and the people who have the video would like to sell it. Through the miracle of crowdfunding, you can help. Please consider donating to the Rob Ford Crackstarter.

How Much Do We Need? $200,000. That’s what the owners of the video want. That sounds like a lot of money. The good people at Indiegogo believe that, with the appropriate amount ofvirality, that goal is achievable.

Christ, That’s a Lot of Money. Yes, it is. But they’ve got the video! And it’s not all about greed, though of course most of it is. The owners of this video fear for their safety, and want enough money to pay for a chance to get out of Toronto and set up in a new town. Their fear is not entirely unwarranted. Rob Ford is a powerful if buffoonish man, and he was wrapped up in a drug scene that purportedly involved many other prominent Toronto figures.

What Will We Get? A crystal clear, well-lit video of the mayor of Toronto smoking crack cocaine, published on Gawker for the world to see. We will also be throwing in some perks, for specific donation amounts. But the main thing is the video of the mayor of Toronto smoking crack cocaine.

This is going to end with Ford fighting biplanes at the top of the CN tower, isn’t it? Oh Gawker. Oh Internet. Oh Rob Ford.

Author: Stephen Whitworth

Prairie Dog editor Stephen Whitworth will never, ever pass up a chance to make a Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo pun.

9 thoughts on “They’re Calling It The “Rob Ford Crackstarter””

  1. Lets go some pay some low life dope dealers six figures so we can have this video. God if Dix followed this brilliant progressive economic plan in BC he might have won the election

  2. Crack cocaine or not, Rob Ford is a terrible role model and public servant.

  3. We’ll get our fill, voters will either forgive (Canada’s been in a forgiving mood toward rightwing wackjobs this decade) or he’ll resign and this video will be relegated to the crack bin of history.

    I almost like the thought of it, eight years from now, languishing on someone’s defunct blog page: A 3-second loop of the moment Ford (allegedly) lights up and inhales.

  4. I wonder about the people who are selling that vide themselves. Are they not drug dealers? There’s a reason why the Toronto Star decided against buying the vid from them.

  5. Chris Farley was a fat crackhead with many other similarities to Ford. Crack doesn’t inherently make you skinny, it just so happens most addicts run out of money for food. Ford inherited a multi million dollar business.

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