This Isn’t Climate Change

Here’s the scene in Victoria Park today. Look at all that grass and those puddles to splash in. It’s terrific that spring is just around the corner so early in the year! Whee! Best of all, no one can say this abnormal weather proves climate change. You can’t use one unseasonably warm day to prove that something weird and scary with dire consequences for civilization is going on with the climate! That’s un-science! So even though it’s plus-two degrees Celsius — the ninth February day in a row temperatures have gone above zero — don’t worry, everything’s fine!

Oh, and if you’re a parent? there’s no need whatsoever to be concerned about the heatwaves, droughts, extreme storms, unstable economies, food shortages, water crises and mass extinctions in your kids’ futures. Those things won’t happen.

Everything’s fine! Keep voting for pipeline politicians and making fun of environmentalists! La la la la la!

Author: Stephen Whitworth

Prairie Dog editor Stephen Whitworth will never, ever pass up a chance to make a Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo pun.