U.S. Judge Nukes DADT

Self-appointed American “family values” moralists must be frothing today after a federal judge ordered the U.S. military to immediately stop enforcing Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. DADT, for those Canadians unfamiliar with the loony-toons legal manifestations of certain segments of the U.S. population’s bizarre sexual fears and repression, is a stupid, bigoted 1993 law that forces the military to discharge gay and lesbian soldiers whose sexual preferences have become known.

The American Family Institute’s Tony Perkins — a taut-faced psycho whose weasel-like visage is eerily reminiscent of an older, less fetching  Norman Bates (who, incidentally, was played by a gay actor who spent his life closeted) had this to say:

“Judge Phillips is playing politics with our national defense.  Once again, an activist federal judge is using the military to advance a liberal social agenda … [blahblahblah] … strong opposition of military leaders … [blahblah] … deference to the Pentagon’s … [blahblah] … potential impact on readiness and morale … [blah] … homosexuals [blah I’m crazy! blah].

I’ve edited the quote a bit for clarity. Obviously, anyone this irrational and uptight badly needs to get laid by a person of the gender their God-given natural attraction directs them too. Which in Perkins’ case would allegedly be women. Cough.

Regardless, it’s a good ruling for human rights in a country infested with intolerant and bossy religious leaders  who want their hang-ups legislated on everyone (probably because it’s really lonely being the only asshole kook in a room).

Hopefully, the justice department won’t appeal. Seventeen years of this farce is enough.

Author: Stephen Whitworth

Prairie Dog editor Stephen Whitworth will never, ever pass up a chance to make a Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo pun.

One thought on “U.S. Judge Nukes DADT”

  1. Note that the US Chief of the Defence Staff thinks DADT is stupid and should be abolished. But according to the friothers, the Admiral isn’t really a military leader, I guess.

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