weekly-reckoningHappy mid-September everyone! The leaves are turning, the weather is turning, and generally everything is spinning right round like a record, baby. In honour of September’s revolutionary axis, let’s read some stuff and let our minds slowly rotate over the burning issues of the day.

1. LET’S iOS. Good day, Apple owners. iOS 8 is out and haunting your devices already. What amazing/irritating features does Apple’s latest ghost in the machine have? Here’s a resource.

2. SOME GOOD NEWS ABOUT OMAR GONZALEZ, THE MAN WITH THE KNIFE WHO BROKE INTO THE WHITE HOUSE ON FRIDAY NIGHT Apparently the 18-year military vet was just trying to warn Obama that “the atmosphere was collapsing and [he] needed to get the information to the president of the United States.” Good thing he wasn’t, say, someone from ISIS coming to warn Obama about the atmosphere.

3. THIS ISN’T TERRIFYING AT ALL Josh Barro wonders why American conservatives seem so enamoured of Canada lately. The most obvious answer – that our country is currently run by a reptile wearing an ill-fitting suit of human skin and hair – isn’t addressed. Seriously, conservative voters in Canada must have said, “Well, he’s not human and possibly not even terrestrial, but I respond to his fiscal policy/ revulsion to science/ diet of human orphans” before marking their ballots.

4. WHO’S GOT A GENOCIDE? According to PostMedia columnist Stephen Maher, Canada’s got a genocide, even if we don’t want to acknowledge it. Article accompanied by a profoundly strange photo of A Tribe Called Red.

5. SASKATOON TRANSIT IS A TOTAL MESS Feel like taking a bus in Saskatoon? Good luck with that; city bus services braked to a halt last night. Meanwhile, people who can’t afford cars are out of luck.