Maybe The U-17 England Goalie Has A Contract With The Maple Leafs …

It’s not just that we (that is, Canada) suck at soccer: it’s how we suck. We don’t score goals. we run up and down the field, chasing the ball, and we don’t do anything. Which, on the surface, is going to make Canada’s adventure at the latest international tournament, the World Under-17 male championships in Mexico, just another sad exhibition in our inconsequentialness in the world’s most popular sport.

So, here’s the scene. Canada’s in a division of four teams: Rwanda, Uruguay, England and us. The top two – Uruguay and England – will advance, the other two fight it out to qualify in a playoff round. Last night, it was Canada-England at Pachuca. Four minutes to go, Canada down 2-1, and the goaltender Quillan Roberts, the teams’ substitute, a 16-year-old TFC Academy student, boots the ball about 75 meters in a desperate attempt to find Canadian forwards. He fails. But what a glorious failure! (Vancouver Sun)

If Canada beats Rwanda Saturday night, they make the playoffs.

Author: Stephen LaRose

2006 winner of the Canadian Association of University Teachers’s Award of Excellence in Journalism for a bunch of prairie dog stuff. Invited into the best homes in Regina. Once.

One thought on “Maybe The U-17 England Goalie Has A Contract With The Maple Leafs …”

  1. There he goes; Stephen LaRose is bashing Canadian Soccer yet again. What a surprise.

    I don’t understand your expectations. Maybe you can explain why Canada should be a world soccer power? Why should we expect to be in every international tournament?

    I missed the England game but saw the U-17s play Uruguay. There was a lot to be happy with, the team didn’t just punt the ball forward and they worked hard against a technically good opponent.

    Drawing England, with our less than stellar history at the U-17s, is a great result for that team.

    I cannot say Canada is a great soccer nation, even though I wish it were. But I don’t see the benefit of slagging the players and performances.

    Do we expect to win the Olympic Basketball gold or Baseball world cup? No, but we expect to be there, and competitive.

    That’s Canada’s ultimate goal in the men’s soccer program as well: consistently competitive for World Cup qualification and able to hold our own at the competition. However, unlike the sports Canadians play Hockey (what 12 competitive countries or less) Baseball (similar numbers) and football (US only + Germans like it =3) soccer is played by everyone, everywhere.

    Oh and I’m not sure if when you say, “It’s not just that we (that is, Canada) suck at soccer: it’s how we suck. We don’t score goals. we run up and down the field, chasing the ball, and we don’t do anything.” you also are including the Women’s team in sucking at soccer. They’re ranked sixth in the world and going into a world cup in a few days better prepared than ever.

    I hope you’ll be cheering for them rather than waiting for them to fail.

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