Rejected Poll: The Penalty For Non-Attendance

I pitched this idea for a prairie dog poll earlier this week but it was rejected because that Dan Reynish one at right was already booked. I guess our Mr Whitworth considers crowd sourcing editorial decisions to be more important than poking fun at city hall.

Anyway, here’s my pitch as a blog post. You can put your votes in the comments.

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The Jan 23 city council meeting was a total marathon affair. And the only member of council absent was Mayor Fiacco. Apparently he was in Bangkok. Sunny, tropical Bangkok! Some of us who endured those four plus hours think that on his return the mayor should have to participate in a humiliating forfeit to make up for it.

What do you think his forfeit should be?

1. Inaugurate the downtown plaza stage by singing a karaoke version of Petula Clark’s “Downtown” one noon hour.

2. At the next council meeting, wear a prairie dog typo wiener t-shirt with the “typo” part blacked out.

3. Treat the journos who survived the meeting to a round of drinks at O’Han’s. (We like this one best.)

4. Three words: Lose. The. Mullet.

5. Oh, leave the guy alone, will you? Even the mayor deserves some fun in the sun!

Author: Paul Dechene

Paul Dechene is 5’10” tall and he was born in a place. He’s not there now. He’s sitting in front of his computer writing his bio for this blog. He has a song stuck in his head. It’s “Girl From Ipanema”, thanks for asking.

You can follow Paul on Twitter at @pauldechene and get live updates during city council meetings and other city events at @PDcityhall.

18 thoughts on “Rejected Poll: The Penalty For Non-Attendance”

  1. Maybeee it could be a multi-bird with one stone approach? We could put him in the shirt, take him to the pub to buy us drinks, hack the mullet, and force him to karaoke? Clearly number 5 is unsuitable…

  2. As one of those journalists I’d vote for the drink.

    But I SERIOUSLY think it’s about time everybody left the hair thing alone. What’s the point? I know LaRose, especially, seems to have a big ol’ boner for mocking it but none of us are physically perfect specimens. What gives us the right to judge? It’s sooooooooooo petty.

  3. A fair criticism, Pat. And I actually debated whether or not to include it. But then I figured it’s a silly gag poll so a hair crack is obligatory.

    Isn’t it a rule of comedy to always take the cheap shot?

    Anyway, if I hadn’t written it, someone would have in the comments. So I was the jerk to save someone else the trouble.

    Probably LaRose.

    And speaking of… please, don’t talk about LaRose’s boners anymore. Eeughhh.

  4. Fiacco’s hair is fair game. With all due respect to Jims Elliot and Holmes, he hasn’t had to defend his mayoralty against a contender since he took office. He’s enjoyed a ridiculous level of popularity (an early 2000s poll said he was more popular than the pope–remember, there used to be a pope who was popular) based primarily on his (arguable) likability and a boosterism campaign. He had big help in the early years of his mayoralty from co-operative, or at least not hostile governments, both provincial and federal. He’s never had to face a council that wasn’t overwhelming pro-development and pro-business. Aside from the civic strike in 2005, his biggest struggle has been current federal and provincial governments who don’t seem to have any interest in urban issues.
    As far as politicians go, Fiacco has had it very easy. Any critic of his is an underdog by definition and underdogs are allowed greater leeway. His hairdo and his mustache are part of his considered and crafted image. (His height, I should mention, is off the comedy table.) Totally fair game.
    That said, given Fiacco’s irrationally high level of personal public support, it might not be tactically wise to harp on his hockey hair (or other personal facets) lest you alienate your common audience.

  5. Reminds me of Lettermans jokes about Trumps hair. It was funny the first or second time but now it’s old.You need some new material Paulie.

  6. Moon Daddy: I promise you that commentator Pat is not Pat Fiacco. I have met commentator Pat, drunk with commentator Pat and even accepted Christmas gifts from commentator Pat*. commentator Pat ain’t Mayor Pasquale.

    *John Gormley’s book Left Out, in fact. Hmmm, is that perhaps A CLUE to Pat’s secret identity?

  7. With the exception of the hair cutting, they are not mutually exclusive choices. I vote for them all. If he cuts his hair, how would we know it’s him!

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