Six In The Morning: Don’t Choke Your Partner Unconscious And Rape Them

1 PREDOMINANTLY FEMALE WORK FORCE MARCHES AGAINST PREDOMINANTLY MALE GOVERNMENT Saskatchewan teachers would probably rather be in class although I’m sure they’re feeling pretty good about their solidarity. Also if you want to feel outraged (if you support teachers) or smug (if you’re a dick), read John Gormley’s column about teachers’ sense of “entitlement” here.

2 GOOD THING HE HAD A GUN OR THIS WOULDN’T EVEN BE A STORY Kim Walker is guilty of manslaughter. Offer your opinions in the comments, or don’t. My opinion is killing people is wrong and Walker should be in jail.

3 I DON’T THINK KIM WALKER SHOULD BE PLACED IN A CHAIN GANG, THOUGH In case you missed my short rant yesterday, Ontario’s “Progressive Conservatives (why even bother, guys?) want to bring back forced prisoner labour in a big, multi-million dollar way. Politicians can appeal to voters’ best qualities or their lowest hatreds. Guess which this is.

4 A MASS-MURDERING PSYHCOPATH IS FIT FOR EXTRADITION Good. And shame on the despicable cretins who still say Ratko Mladic is a hero.

5 CANADA IS OFFICIALLY PRO-ISRAEL Read all about it.

6 NO SAFE WORDS IN SLEEPYTOWN According to the LAW, Canadians cannot give legally-defensible advance sexual consent to their passed-out partner. Any individual who intercourses-up an unconscious boff-buddy risks being convicted of sexual assault. Gee. I guess we’ll just have to rely on good communication and a whole lot of trust. This is one of those court rulings that’s 100 per cent stupid when it’s discussed in courts and newspapers and 99.9 per cent irrelevant when it’s applied to reality.  Just take this report as a helpful reminder to never choke your partner unconscious then rape their butts with a dildo. Talk first, people, talk! And stay away from breath play. It’s dangerous!

LOOK AT THIS, IT’S WEIRD Pendulums! Wheee!

Author: Stephen Whitworth

Prairie Dog editor Stephen Whitworth will never, ever pass up a chance to make a Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo pun.

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