Six In The Morning: Elevated Rant Levels

1 YEAR-END Q & A WITH PAT FIACCO The Leader-Post has it.

2 ASIANS VS. ELEPHANTS Let’s take a rare break from bashing our own nightmarishly bad environmental record to yell at Asia for the rampaging cultural stupidity and ignorance that resulted in 3,000 elephants being poached for ivory in 2011. Killing threatened and endangered animals for knick-knacks and magical medicines is absolutely disgusting. I judge thee, Asia! And I decree thou to be SHITTY.

3 AND THEN THERE’S THE SYRIAN GOVERNMENT’S ONGOING MURDERPALOOZA Fuckers.

4 EVERYONE IN SASKATOON GETS PEPPER SPRAYED What the hell is wrong with our northern neighbours? What’s with all the pepper spray? There was even a menacing machete incident. Get a grip on yourself, Saskatoon. You’re embarrassing Regina, and I don’t think I need to tell you that when you’re embarrassing Regina, you’re really, really fucking up.

5 SASKATOON WILL CHANGE ITS WARD BOUNDARIES BEFORE THE 2012 CIVIC ELECTION Not only is it true, it’s mildly interesting. Also, voters will have to produce photo i.d. with their current address, and a can of pepper spray, at poll booths.

6 THAT RUSSIAN NUCLEAR SUB IS NO LONGER ON FIRE Well, that’s a relief.

HEY IT’S GETTING TO BE THAT TIME A song!

Update: thanks for the copy edits as always Barb.

Author: Stephen Whitworth

Prairie Dog editor Stephen Whitworth will never, ever pass up a chance to make a Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo pun.

18 thoughts on “Six In The Morning: Elevated Rant Levels”

  1. Wow, the world is f*cked, it’s not getting better, it’s getting worse…Bill Clinton’s optimism was a sham and a joke…the people equipped to deal with the world’s problems are all dead or way too focused on their pensions. I was never one to declare “we’re all fucked” but now I think it’s true. The question is, 20 years from now or 50 years from now?

  2. Hate to belabour the obvious, but: “its”, not “it’s”, and “boundaries”.
    have a Happy new Year, and perhaps I can suggest a resolution for 2012? Must I spell it out? (pun intended)

  3. It’s not that I’m unsympathetic, Talbot. But try to keep things in perspective. I went to get my ginger ale this afternoon. They were all out of Schweppes. I had to settle for Canada Dry.

  4. #3
    Shouldn’t it read Happy New Year ?

    Anyhoo… All’yall have 1.

    ps..Don’t forget to watch / record the Walking Dead marathon tonight. Ch 43 Access, or at any bar in the warehouse area.

  5. @4,

    Hmmm… Schweppes man, hey? While I have no strong ginger ale pref, unlike with Coke and Pepsi…Coke represent!, I do tend to gravitate towards Canada Dry.

    @2,

    I think it was Syria. All I really know about Syria is that their government is secular, which I find extremely, EXTREMELY appealing, but it’s corrupt, obviously, so when you’re left between a choice between a probable Theocracy, as we’re seeing in Egypt, or a corrupt secular state gov’t, and no other possibilities, you just get kind of blue about the prospects.

    Plus, we’re stuck with our own indefinite, semi-Corporate Theocracy here in Canada, so it’s like WTF.

  6. As ginger ales go, Canada Dry is not in the same class as Schweppes, but it’s easier to spell, and you can pronounce it without sounding inebriated.

  7. Yes, but Canada Dry has a nicer label, so… Fashion, you know. Branding. P’donk. Another nice thing I find about ginger ale is that generic brands are actually drinkable, unlike with cola. They are not desirable, but a no-name ginger ale is actually not bad.

  8. Ron #7: of course it should; in fact, “Have a Happy New Year” is how it should read. My only excuse is that I’m recovering from the flu, which, although rugged, beats a hangover. Good safe holiday, everyone.

  9. I’ll ignore that “no name” comment, Talbot, because I know you’re just kidding. The no-name ginger ales are actually the Canada Dry stuff that spills on the floor when they’re bottling Schweppes.

  10. Plus, now you can actually take a walk around the outside of the tower between courses. Ginger ale in hand, of course.
    p.s. The view is to die for, and hopefully not “from.”

  11. That does it! I know what I’m doing for New Years now!! BLIND-TASTE TEST! One dixie cup full of Schweppes, one dixie cup of Canada Dry, and one dixie cup of generic Loblaw’s ginger ale, or Extra Foods, Broadway Ave vintage. We’ll see who’s the Al Capone of the ginger ale world.

  12. How very inspired, Talbot. I don’t know who Fresh Sr. was, but, clearly, he sired a genius. You will post the results, of course.

  13. One last thing, Talbot. If Whitworth were on the ball, which, sadly, he isn’t, by now he would have posted a reader’s poll:

    Which label of ginger ale have you found most agreeable to your taste this holiday season?

    Canada Dry
    Schweppes
    No-Name Brand (please specify)

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