1 DEATH PENALTY FOR CONVICTED RAPIST MURDERERS Yeah, no, bad idea. Killing people doesn’t fix a violent society. How about 25-40 years in prison?
3 “NOTHING MORE THAN AN AFTER-THE-FACT ATTEMPT TO JUSTIFY HIS BLOWS” A Toronto Police officer is convicted of assaulting a G20 protester.
4 CANADA POST LOOKS AT SERVICE CUTS More decent, well-paying careers down the bog to be replaced, I suppose, by McJobs.
5 CANADIANS ARE RICHER AND IN WAY MORE DEBT Read all about it.
6 NO PANTS FOR THIS MONKEY Darwin the Ikea monkey is deemed to be a wild animal. The question I have no answer to is: what’s best for the monkey?
A BUNCH OF BONUS NEWS Parliament is officially prorogued again; the U.S. and Russia want to revive Syrian peace talks; Canada’s famous former envoy to Iran says the Harper government is trash-talking our nation’s striking diplomats; you probably heard about the new movie in the Harry Potter universe; there’s some big-time flooding in Colorado; a section of track near the Lac-Megantic train disaster has problems; Quebec’s PQ government is full of racist, dissembling, pussies and it’s making Quebec look really bad; someone was accused of throwing a drink on Toronto Mayor Rob Ford; here’s some stuff about Twitter’s initial public offering; a paparazzo knocked Nicole Kidman over; a cutie-poo ball python escaped in an Issaquah, Washington school so naturally people are going to freak out even though dogs and cats escape all the freaking time; and the U.S. Republican Congress holding the nation’s economy hostage have forced the FBI to close offices for 10 days a year. Good work, patriots!
HAPPY FRIDAY THE 13TH! Eeeeeeeyaaaaaaaaaagh!