1 BOMBS, RIOTS AND A DISTINCT LACK OF PEACEKEEPING Sweeping up Greece, finger-pointing by Israel, no peacekeepers in Syria.

2 NOTHING SAYS CLASS LIKE FIGHTING THE DEAD GUY’S FAMILY Manitoba’s NDP government is attempting to block a lawsuit by the family of a man who died after spending 34 hours in a hospital waiting room.

3 STATISTICAL RE-JIGGING WILL CONVENIENTLY SAVE THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT AND BUSINESS BUCKETS OF MONEY But changing the way the Consumer Price Index is measured isn’t actually about that, I’m sure. It’s all about accuracy. Oh and by the way, you now get less money. Yoink!

4 YOU CAN’T KEEP MY UN-VACCINATED KIDS OUT OF SCHOOL! JESUS WILL PROTECT THEM FROM SICKNESS! This story about dangerously stupid Americans is dedicated to my dear friend Paul Dechene.

5 HEY KIDS, REMEMBER HOW WE CLOSED YOUR PETTING ZOO? WE HAVE SOME MORE BAD NEWS Retired petting-zoo animals in Vancouver may have, uh, been sold for meat.

6 REGULAR AMERICANS WHO GET GOVERNMENT BENEFITS THINK THERE SHOULD BE NO GOVERNMENT BENEFITS And here’s an epic feature on such stupid assholes.

OBLIGATORY GRAMMYS REMARKS Bon Iver won Best New Artist. How about that. Here’s a video from Justin Vernon’s band’s 2008 album For Emma, Forever Ago.