Ten Tips For Recognizing A Terminator

Increasingly these days, your friends, neighbours and coworkers are homicidal cyborgs from the future intent on eliminating people who pose a threat to their killbot utopia. Here are some telltale signs and behaviours to watch for.

1. Distinct pauses after questions as their CPUs cycle through a list of three or four appropriate responses.

2. Only getting cultural references from 2025 onwards.

3. A few too many doppelgangers showing up at O’Hanlon’s.

4. Ken Krawetz.

5. Occasionally pulling out their nuclear fuel cell power source in public and giggling.

6. OMG THEY’RE GOOEY LIQUID METAL HALF THE TIME DUH

7. Cornering you at parties to tell you how Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines is underrated and that its position in the Terminator franchise needs to be reevaluated.

8. Really, Ken Krawetz. When asked if the government’s decision to end the Film Employment Tax Credit would kill the industry, he said, “That’s what I do. It’s all I do.” Then Brad Wall made little shooting motions with his fingers and went “pew-pew.” Question Period just gets better every year.

9. Uncontrollable smirking when Zager & Evans’ “In the Year 2525” comes on the radio.

10. You can’t play on the seesaw with them. Also, they kill you.

Photo: NickAmes on Flickr

Author: Aidan Morgan

Aidan is a very serious man who’s saving up for a nice dignified pipe. Then we’ll see who’s laughing.

One thought on “Ten Tips For Recognizing A Terminator”

  1. Re numbers 4,8: Or you could just wait for the Speaker of the House to say, “The Speaker recognizes the terminator for Canora-Pelly.”

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