Well, I Knew It Was A Possibility

I’m not really sure what to say about this election result. Canada has made a terrible mistake. We’ve given a majority mandate to an American Republican-style government. Curious to see what the popular vote is because I want to know how many Canadians are malicious political vandals. We’ll find that out in the morning I ‘spose.

You know that the Conservatives will push the country as far to the right as it can, right? You know this party is sick, right? It’s not all okay they’ve got a majority and we’re not going to pretend it is. We’ll leave the magical thinking to the Leader-Post and StarPhoenix editorial writers.

The Canadians who voted for these Conservatives, well, gee. You’ve just told a lot of people that you don’t give a fuck about them. This government is extremely likely to attack the interests of women, Natives, single-parent families, scientists, academics, artists, authors, filmmakers, journalists (the CBC!!! Noooo!) most university and college students, gays and lesbians, people who have sex out of wedlock, jeez, I dunno, almost everyone. Good golly. Conservative voters are really dumb and mean!

We’ll have more to say in Thursdays paper but for now, have a drink, fellow Not-Conservatives, and know you’re not alone. We love you guys!

And just think how many excellent “We told you so’s” we’ll all get to enjoy in the next few years!

Good night and good luck!

Author: Stephen Whitworth

Prairie Dog editor Stephen Whitworth will never, ever pass up a chance to make a Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo pun.

8 thoughts on “Well, I Knew It Was A Possibility”

  1. Well, if you look on the bright side, you will have a lot to report about over the next four years. That is, if you don’t depend on federal funding.

    Looking at the long game though, things will be interesting. Now, with a majority, Harper must take full responsibility for failures – and the NDP will be seen as a viable alternative, barring any wackiness from new Quebecois converts. It’s going to be a tough four years, but if the Cons manage to ball it up, (and I have supreme confidence they will) we’ll have a NDP majority next.

    I was initially tempted to say “Fuck this, I’m moving”, but you know what? Fuck that. 60% of the electorate voted other than Conservative. Regardless, it’s not the number of people in your corner – it’s knowing what you believe in is the right thing to do.

  2. I’m really depressed by the fact that about 40% of the people who should have voted, didn’t.

    Well, at least the economy should remain in stellar shape for the next four years. Yay, economy. Plus, more prisons and rifles, less troublesome science and fact stuff, that can’t be bad.

    By the way, is there any way in your polls to offer an “other” category because I think that Satanic leaf-tailed gecko I saw on my msn home page is pretty cute.

  3. Glenn: satanic leaf-tailed geckos are also cute in person! And you know who seems to really like them? Girls. Not kidding.

  4. Katie: we’re 100 per cent funded by advertising and tiny bits of owner investment. No federal funding. Yup, we’re a real business!

  5. Evanchuk only lost to Boughen, who turns 74 this month, by 800 votes, so he should definitely keep his machine together. Boughen’s gone after summer 2012, believe me. BYELECTION TIME!

  6. And that shit-monger Trost won in another landslide…. figures.

    The popular vote in Sask was something like 56% conservative… so don’t kid yourselves into thinking “more” people voted against them: here, it’s simply not the case.

  7. Actually, everything I’ve heard about Boughen suggests he’s a nice guy. Totally unfit for federal politics, but a decent man. Unlike other Sask. Tory MPs.

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